Love Is Always Write Volume 4

the least I deserve to know why." Chad turned around, his face no longer a mask, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. "I came all this way, made a fool of myself…"
    "I never asked you to come here."
    "Yeah, no shit. But I'm here now. And after all this time, I want to know, God Damn it!" His voice rose, his eyes glowing with fury. "I deserve to know! Why did you leave me?"
    Zeb tilted his head, confused, and truth be known, a little scared. Chad looked beyond pissed and Zeb had no clue why. Alright, so Chad's problem wasn't a stroke after all, maybe he was just off his rocker. "What are you talking about?"
    "What am I talking about? Are you nuts ?"
    No, but maybe you are. Chad took a step towards him and Zeb automatically took a step back.
    "I'm talking about you walking out on me. Leaving me behind without even giving me a reason!" Chad stopped, closed his eyes tight and took in a calming breath. Or at least Zeb hoped it was calming.
    "You told me to go to California," Zeb answered, humoring the crazy person. Did Chad not remember this? Okay, maybe he was nuts back then too and Zeb had just never realized it.
    "I said we should talk about going to California. The next thing I know, you're all packed up, walking out the door! And to top it off, you don't even have the guts to end it. You just let me keep calling, and calling, wondering what the hell was going on, worrying about you! God, you prick!" Chad started to pace the small room as he ranted. "I mean, I know you sucked at relationships but anyone with common sense should know that when you're through with someone, you'd at least have the courtesy to pick up a Goddamn fucking phone to tell them! Seriously, what was so bad you couldn't even face me to tell me? I mean, shit! You leave and don't even look back, not one fucking glance, and here I am, the naive fuck, thinking you're just awkward at goodbyes. That maybe it's too much of the sentimental shit you just can't handle and here…" he trailed off, his step faltering and his voice cracking. "And here, you were probably planning on leaving me the whole time."
    Zeb stood, mouth hanging open and his chest tight. He didn't know what to say, what to think. Damn, he couldn't think at all. None of this made sense.
    Chad stopped by the small love seat and let his body drop on it like a marionette that just had his strings cut and buried his face in his hands. He looks tired, Zeb thought, but still didn't move.
    "So, what was it?" Chad's voice was a little muffled as he spoke between his hands, but Zeb understood him just fine. "I just need to know, Zeb. Tell me and I won't ever bother you again. Did I do something wrong? Was it because-" a deep breath, "because I felt more for you than you were okay with? Was I too boring to compete with all the pretty California boys? Or did you just decide you didn't give a shit about me anymore?" Chad put his hands down and pinned Zeb with a very wet stare.
    "I…" The words froze in his throat. Oh, he had a million questions, but seeing the pain in Chad's face, the tear tracks he'd been hiding behind his hands, Zeb couldn't utter a word. He focused on the magnets on the mini fridge and breathed in shallow slow breaths. His eyes fluttered closed when Chad spoke again.
    "Do you have any idea how long I tortured myself with that question? How many nights I sat awake, thinking, confused, alone . I mean, fuck . I thought we were happy. Of course, I was probably delusional because I also thought we were in love." Chad snorted then, self-deprecating to the core. "I was a pretty pathetic fool, wasn't I?" He folded his hands in front of him and fixed his gaze there, waiting.
    "I didn't dump you." Zeb cleared his dry throat.
    "Ha. Really? I really must be delusional then, because all those sweet love letters and late night phone calls from my lover over the last years – yeah, I don't remember a one."
    "No, you…" Zeb ran his hand through his hair, tugging it in every direction. "Chad, you broke it off with me."
    Chad actually laughed. "Why in the world would I break up with you?"
    "I don't know. You said you wanted me to leave. Or don't you remember?" Zeb yanked on his hair again in frustration. "You walk in here all pissed at me, but you're the one who kicked me out! Sure, you were nice about it, but you still said you wanted me to go! And, hell, you smiled as you went on about what an adventure it would be like some-"
    "Yeah!" Chad interrupted. "An adventure for us!"
    Zeb's attention