Love Is Always Write Volume 4

to the hotel, too tired to want any conversation, which left Zeb with time to think. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.
    The plain and simple truth was that he didn't know if he could trust Chad. What if, now that he was on the verge of being famous, Zeb was suddenly more acceptable as a boyfriend and what Chad said was just blowing smoke? He heard Callie's words again – just take a risk. But, how could he possibly risk his heart again if he didn't know for sure? Okay, yeah, even a sober man could have drunk logic – that's what a risk is, you idiot, not knowing for sure .
    Zeb was pretty sure he wasn't going to get any more sleep tonight than he had last night.
    ****
    Chad discovered some very interesting things that night in his hotel room: that a man's snore could actually be loud enough to be heard from across a hallway, that there were three areas on the ceiling that needed to be repainted, that even with closed curtains and eyelids a flashing neon sign outside the window could, in fact, still be annoying, and that he was lying on the least comfortable mattress in history. Also – counting sheep didn't work worth shit.
    When he'd given up on the mattress he learned one more tidbit – that even though this was supposed to be a non-smoking room, the chair by the window reeked of smoke. Okay, so maybe those things weren't so much interesting as aggravating.
    He wanted to sleep. Badly. Sleep would mean his mind could finally shut off and give everything a fricken rest.
    He'd barely paid attention to the road on the way back from the theater, too focused on every little detail of the night. Confusion to anger, excitement to disappointment, the whole thing left him drained… and unable to sleep a wink.
    Layered over it all was the pain of knowing Zeb was with someone else. How fucking unfair was that? After this, Zeb would return to his happy life with some other man in California, while Chad was going back to an empty hotel room and then home to an empty apartment.
    Yes, feeling sorry for himself did seem to be on the agenda tonight as well. Of course, that was pretty close to where he started the night, so maybe not so much had changed.
    It had taken him a long time to accept that Zeb wasn't coming back… too long and too many excuses. Never once in those first weeks had it occurred to him to feel pathetic or to think he was doing anything other than supporting his boyfriend. Not until he heard that monotone computerized voice tell him the phone was disconnected. That's when he was forced to see what was already obvious to his friends – that what he thought was a temporary geographical separation was actually the biggest blow off in history.
    Now, sitting there in a smelly chair at four a.m. and staring out at a city gone to sleep, all he had left was anger. Zeb had left – dumped him whether it was on purpose or not – for nothing? No reason? Because he was tired and misunderstood one thing Chad had said? All those memories of the first few months and everything he'd gone through to get over his lover, to try and forget him, and it all came back to one thing: it was over nothing .
    As far as he was concerned some stupid misunderstanding wasn't an excuse. Not after having two years in together, being in a serious relationship and sharing their lives. How could it be that after all that, that Zeb could just throw it away without a fight? That at the first sign of discord, he'd just walk away?
    Chad rubbed his itchy, burning eyes, grumbling under his breath. Sleep was out of the question, at least tonight. A nice strong drink and a shower would help more.
    ****
    The pressure in the shower was amazing. Chad stood directly under the spray so the hot water cascaded over his head and down his body, soothing. Almost a week's worth of tension in his muscles released and he sighed. Steam filled the small bathroom and his eyes began to droop. He stayed like that for long minutes, hoping the hot water would just hold out a little longer.
    A noise startled him out of his daze and he slipped. Shit. Thrusting his arms out he made a quick save and swore again. The noise repeated somewhere nearby. Someone's phone was ringing but even with the water in his ears it sounded like it was coming from inside his room. It wasn't the ring tone from his cell so he was going to ignore it, when it rang again he realized it was the room's phone.
    "Dammit." He scrambled out of the shower, snatching a towel on the way, and