Love Means No Shame - Andrew Grey

we better get you packed. And don’t worry about work; I’ll talk to Kenny in the morning and tell him what happened. You can call him when you get a chance.” By the time Raine left, Geoff was packed, and the car was loaded. All he needed to do was call Len back and start driving first thing in the morning.

    Love Means … NO SHAME
    THE farm didn’t look any different when he crested the rise that gave him the first view of the house, silos, and barn. Well, in the Midwest it was a farm. If it were in the West it would be called a ranch. Stopping the car, he got out and surveyed the view. No, it didn’t look any different. The cattle dotted the fields, and he could even see some of the horses in their corrals around the barn.
    But it felt different. He knew his dad wouldn’t be rushing out to greet him as he always did, pulling him into a bear hug. He also knew that the kitchen wouldn’t smell like fresh-baked bread and the bathroom like his father’s Old Spice aftershave. “Wow,” he breathed to himself as he looked over his family home with a sense of deep sadness.
    After taking a deep breath, he got back in the car and drove the remaining distance to the house, pulling between the square brick columns topped with lights and into the long driveway. Stopping the car, he turned off the engine. As soon as he opened the door, he was accosted by three dogs who ran from the porch as fast as their old legs would carry them.
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Andrew Grey
    “Hey, boys, how are you?” Geoff knelt down, giving out pats and scratches, getting wet dog kisses and wagged tails in return. It was all he could do not to break down into tears right there.
    The screen door closed with a bang. “Your dad loved those mutts almost as much as you.” Geoff stood back up as Len walked down the porch steps and hurried to the car. Then Geoff was drawn into a deep, familiar, and loving hug that broke down the last of his resistance, and the dam inside him burst. Huge tears rolled down his cheeks and soaked into Len’s shirt as he sobbed against his shoulder.
    When the flood subsided, they pulled apart, both wiping their eyes with their hands before walking together up the steps to the huge porch. “What happened, Len? He seemed to be doing so well when I was home the last time.”

    “Come on inside. I’ve got lunch on, and we’ll talk.” Len opened the screen door and ushered Geoff inside.

    As usual, they walked right through the sun porch and the huge living room to the kitchen. Geoff sat at the table, the same one he’d sat at when he was a child. “That smells so good, Len.”

    “I made your favorite pancakes. They’re not the same as your dad’s, but they’re pretty good.” A stack was set in front of him, along with strong coffee, butter, real maple syrup, and everything else that made this a home. This was Geoff’s favorite meal of all time.
    He tried not to think too much and forced himself to eat. As soon as that first bite hit his mouth and the syrup slid down his throat, he relaxed a little —he was home. This tasted like home. The grief threatened to well up again, but he pushed it back. He hadn’t realized he was hungry until he started to eat, and then his appetite came back with a vengeance. Len brought his own plate to the table, and they ate in silence, each lost in his own thoughts. “We have an appointment at the funeral home this afternoon at two.” 12
    Love Means … NO SHAME
Geoff continued eating. “Okay.” Thankfully, that was all Len said while they ate, leaving them both alone with their thoughts.
    Once he’d finished the plate of pancakes, he felt better, a little stronger and a little more in control of his emotions, although the grief was still right below the surface.
    Getting up from the table, he put his dishes in the sink and started running the water to wash them.
“I’ll take care of those.”
    Geoff smiled and mimicked his dad. “House rule number one: if you cook, you don’t do dishes.” Len and Geoff both smiled slightly as the familiar words washed over them.
    Len finished his food and brought the dishes to the sink. “I’m going to check that everything’s okay outside, and then we need to talk. I won’t be long.” Then he was out the back door, and Geoff watched as he strode across the lawn on his way to the barns.
Len and his dad had been together as far back as Geoff could remember. Geoff's mother died when he was about six months and eighteen months later, his dad