Maybe the Moon

the joint to me. “You’d have an excellent point, if your period weren’t coming on.”
    I gave him an irritated look, my slowest burn, then took a few tokes.
    “I gather no one called,” he said.
    I shook my head.
    “What do you think that means?”
    I told him I didn’t know anymore, and left it at that. I couldn’tput words to my darkest doubts. I’m prepared to face them like a big girl, but not yet, not officially. Part of me still hopes against hope that Leonard is just dragging his feet again. I’m small potatoes in his client stew, after all. He could be tied up in negotiations for someone more important than I, maybe even someone who’s wanted for the same musical.
    “You know,” said Jeff, “I could call Callum and ask him what he knows.”
    This threw me. “You parted that amicably?”
    “Well, no. But I don’t mind calling.”
    I told him that was sweet, but I wouldn’t think of imposing. Frankly, I was worried that Jeff’s failed romance might rub off on my fledgling deal, screwing it up for good. I wasn’t sure I could trust him to stay cool about it.
    He took another toke, staring contemplatively at the ceiling, then pinched off the roach and deposited it in the pocket of his jeans jacket. “You know what pisses me off?”
    “What?”
    “Ned warned me about this. He described the whole thing.”
    “Described what?”
    He shrugged. “How it would feel.”
    “How what would feel?”
    “Sleeping with a movie star…a closet case.”
    “Well, I guess Ned would know.”
    “Too bad I wasn’t listening.”
    “What did he say?”
    “He said it could start a million different ways. But you always ended up feeling like a mistress.”
    I studied his face to see how seriously he expected to be taken. “Is that how you feel?”
    He nodded. “More or less.”
    “Get any nice lingerie out of it?”
    “Hell, no.” He laughed ruefully. “Nothing.”
    “Well, fuck that.”
    “Exactly.”
    “When did Ned say this?”
    “Right after we met. When he told me about living with Rock. I used to quote it to everybody for years, and then I met Callum, and the whole thing just flew out of my head.”
    “Yeah, well…a pretty dick is like a melody.”
    “Just shut up, OK?”
    “OK.”
    My docile response amazed him. “When did you get to be so easy?”
    “Since you anesthetized me.”
    Jeff smiled and was silent for a moment. Then he said: “You know…I never met anybody on that movie.”
    “Really?”
    “Not one soul. I never even met anyone he knew.”
    I shook my head sympathetically.
    “What was it like?” he asked. “You never told me.”
    “The movie?”
    “Yeah. Did it seem homophobic?”
    I told him the killer seemed queer, but I didn’t see that much of it.
    “They’re gonna picket it, you know.”
    “Who?”
    “GLAAD.”
    I giggled. “The sandwich wrap people?”
    He wasn’t amused. “The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.”
    “Oh, yeah.”
    “This shit’s gotta stop sometime.”
    I asked him if he had plans to picket.
    “I dunno. It’s too early to tell.”
    I hate to admit it, but I was thinking about myself again, wondering if Jeff’s politics would alienate Leonard and if Leonard would take it out on me. “Does Callum know about the GLAAD protest?”
    “Oh, yeah. That’s what started the last fight. I told him about it,and I said I thought it was valid. He said I was being a hothead just for the sake of it, because my lover had died and I had no place to vent my anger. So I told him I felt this way long before Ned died and that I was sick and tired of pricks like him who were willing to live a lie in exchange for stardom. He called me a fascist and accused me of trying to sabotage his career, and I told him so be it, if the career is corrupt to begin with. Why should I give a shit about a system that keeps insisting I don’t exist? This isn’t my fantasy.”
    I flashed on that day in the commissary and Callum’s clumsy salacious remark about Bridget Fonda. “Do you think he might be bi?” I asked Jeff.
    “Is that what he told you?”
    “Not in so many words.”
    “Well, he’s not, however he said it.”
    I nodded.
    “Trust me.”
    I smiled at him faintly. “I do.”
    “He is definitely a member of the greatest show on earth.”
    “Too bad it wasn’t enough.”
    “Well…there are all kinds of queers.”
    “Mmm.”
    “Just because you suck cock doesn’t mean you’re perfect.”
    “That’s my motto.”
    “I bet it