Maybe the Moon

look—”
    “Callum’s part of this tribute, isn’t he? He must be.”
    “Well, sure, but—”
    “So you boys all chipped in and sent me a limo, and…Oh God, it’s so clear now. Why didn’t I see it? I’m such a jerkwad.”
    Leonard offered me a hurt silence. Then: “I can’t believe you’re being so hostile.”
    What I couldn’t believe was that Leonard hadn’t blown a fuse and hung up. He’d taken more abuse from me in ten minutes than I’d dared to dole out in ten years. His moderation could mean only one thing: he needed me too badly to risk alienating me. Philip had obviously put the screws to him. “What’s the matter?” I said. “You fresh out of wee people?”
    No answer.
    “That’s it, isn’t it?” I laughed bitterly. “You can’t find anybody to fit that damn suit.”
    “That’s not true, and you know it.”
    “Try Arnie Green, why don’t you? He’s got some terrific midgets. You might have to chop them off at the ankles or something, but what the hell. Or maybe a child. That would work. Homeless, preferably, so you don’t have to answer to SAG or anything.”
    “This is so unlike you.”
    “No, Leonard, this is exactly like me. This is me. This is what you get when I don’t have to be careful anymore, when I don’t give a fuck what you think.”
    And that’s when he hung up on me.

    At least an hour has passed, so I’m calmer now, if a little numb. Leonard called back a while ago, as I suspected he might, given the apparent urgency of his mission. When I answered, he didn’t even bother to announce himself, just started talking, assuming the tone of a long-suffering parent.
    “How long have we known each other?”
    I groaned.
    “Have I ever steered you wrong? Have I ever betrayed you? Have I ever acted against your best interests?”
    “Save it, Leonard. I’m not doing it.”
    “Just tell me why not.”
    “Because it hurts too much.”
    “You mean the suit? I’m sure they could—”
    “Not the suit. The whole twisted thing. I’m sick and tired of it, that’s all. I have to be myself sooner or later. I can’t keep doing this.”
    “Doing what?”
    “Being invisible.”
    After a pause he said: “It’s had its rewards, hasn’t it?”
    “Not enough.”
    “Think of the people you’ve met. Think of the life you’ve led.”
    “I am thinking of the life I’ve led.”
    “C’mon. It hasn’t been that bad.”
    “Oh, really? You try it sometime.”
    “Yeah, well…” He laughed uneasily. “You’ve got a point, I guess.”
    Even at this late juncture, that dazzling lineup of stars kept coming back to taunt me. It took all my strength to stifle the whiny child within who kept telling me to stuff my principles, for God’s sake, Meryl and Bette and Barbra would be there, and I would probably get to meet them. But I couldn’t forget my years of exile from Philip’s life or the silence he’d imposed on me from the beginning. It was better to take a stand, I felt, to make an exit with my dignity intact. I needed to know that I could do that, I guess, that I could take control of my own destiny no matter how much empty glitz they threw my way.
    “I’m wasting your time,” I said.
    “Look…”
    “I’m a singer and an actress, Leonard. If you can help me with that, fine. If not…”
    “You won’t do this for Philip?”
    “Why should I? He won’t do shit for me.”
    “That’s not true.”
    “Has he cast his new musical yet?”
    You better believe that stopped him cold. “Well, uh…I don’t know much about it, really.”
    “I bet you don’t.”
    “It’s just a script. If there’s anything right for you, I’m sure he’d…”
    “Oh, blah, blah, blah…”
    “Why are you acting like this?”
    “Because you’re a liar, Leonard.”
    “I’ve never lied to you.”
    “Bullshit.”
    “When? When have I ever lied?”
    “When I asked you if Callum was in town. You told me he was back East in college.”
    “Well, he was—then.”
    “He was not, Leonard. He was blowing a friend of mine in Griffith Park.”
    There was an audible intake of air. Most satisfying.
    “Not in the park, really. Back at the house. They met at the park.”
    “What is your point, please?”
    “That he was here in town and you knew it. And that you lied to me. Why did you lie to me?”
    “I barely remember this.”
    “Then why do you think you might have lied to me? Because you knew I’d try to reach Callum?”
    “Maybe…I