Me

or that thing, based on what I have seen and lived. I can show you statistics that indicate the various effects of different choices. But I cannot decide for you.”
    Ultimately, they will have to do what they want, to become who they would like to be. The truth is that it doesn’t matter how much I may love them. They will always be who they are, and I will always be me. And I cannot change who they are or how they behave; I can simply guide them in what I feel is the most appropriate direction. So many books have been written about how to be a good parent, but every child is completely unique. Each little mind is its own universe, and each child is the owner of his actions.
    It doesn’t matter how much you love a person; the reality of life is that one cannot make decisions for someone else. Even if they do exactly what I say they should do, and even if they believe that they’re doing it just because I told them to, it is they who have chosen to take that path and not go off on their own. And if they only do what I tell them, they will never be able to analyze a situation, evaluate the information that is given to them, weigh the options and look at the alternatives (and they will eventually resent me). They will have to learn how to do this on their own, because I will not always be there to give them my opinion or advice.
    In fact, it could be that my concept of happiness will for them be the very same definition of pain. And who am I to tell other people what it is that will make them happy? They have to discover it for themselves.
    For me, that’s where the improvement of the world begins—in allowing people to be themselves, without judging them. Let me be who I am; let me live, exist, and behave how I need to according to my reality. I’ll do the same for you. I won’t get in your way. In this space of my own, I dream of my happiness. And if you don’t like it, go on your own way, because I don’t want you to be part of mine.
    Ultimately, I want my children to accept themselves, to love themselves, and to accept everyone, even if someone does not accept them. I will do everything possible for my children to find their happiness, letting them know that inside we each have the ability to feel fulfilled, if we are open and attuned to the lessons that come along the way, and willing to uncover the treasure that lives within our very own beings.
    They are of course too young to understand, but Matteo and Valentino have played an essential role in making me the strong and liberated person I am today. It is thanks to them that my desire to write this book came to be, and it is also thanks to them that I found the strength to choose to live life transparently and without any secrets. As my children grow up, I want them to feel perfectly free, and there will not be anything—not even their father’s life—that will affect them. They have to feel completely proud of who they are and where they come from, and I never want them to feel the need to keep a secret from me or from anyone. They are my greatest treasure, and the ones who inspire me each day to be a better person, a better father, and a better human being.

EIGHT
    MY MOMENT
    WHEN I LOOK BACK, IT’S EASY TO SEE HOW ONE THING LED to the next, and how every moment of my life happened for a reason. But when I was in the middle of it all, looking ahead and trying to decipher the next step, it wasn’t always so easy to see. Still, today I feel that it doesn’t do any good to worry so much about what decision to make or which path to take, because ultimately life has its way of guiding me toward what I need when I need it the most. Not before, not after.
    There is a time for everything. While I hit the stage early, at only twelve years of age, it wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I felt comfortable with my sexuality. Everyone has their own path, their own story through which they go at their own pace.
    Since I announced my sexual orientation to the world a few months ago, a lot of people have asked: “Ricky, what took you so long?” My answer is very simple: It wasn’t my moment yet. I had to go through everything I did and live through all I experienced to arrive at the exact moment when I felt strong, ready, and completely at peace to do it. I needed to love myself. And although the process I had to go through to get to this point was neither short nor simple, I had to go through—and stumble along—my spiritual path in order to find