Me

the sexuality of an artist does not have to change the way he or she is perceived. But because I was suffering, I saw only the things that scared me. And since I was afraid of coming out and telling my truth to the world, I filled myself with reasons—irrational ones, of course—not to do it.
    A lot of people around me—my family, friends, and colleagues—were also afraid. Even though I know they all want the best for me, many of them were concerned about how this could ultimately destabilize me, not only from a professional point of view but also from a personal one. Many encouraged me not to do it, saying there was no need for it and that my sexuality was my business and no one else’s. And even though they are right on some level, in that sentiment there is also a small dose of prejudice that I ultimately see as incredibly damaging. Despite all their advice and their love, for once I had to think about myself, and listen to what the silence was trying to tell me.
    That’s exactly what I did. And I was able to see my true self.
    So, from the moment I accepted my own reality, I started trying to find a way to communicate it to the world. I still didn’t know how I was going to do it, perhaps through a concert, a letter, a book, or a song. At the time, I had a phrase that I’d repeat to myself like a mantra: “God, Universe, or whatever you want me to call you, show me the best way to do it.” I would say it to myself every day, and I kept my eyes open. My intention was to try to visualize the moment, and the entire process of this great search gradually brought me closer to my reality.
    I started to make some changes. During my shows, on the Black and White Tour, I began to introduce some words and phrases that spoke to my experience. We made one video in particular in which my skin “speaks” through my tattoos, and certain words would appear, such as “accept yourself” or “change your life” or “love” or “discover yourself,” “question yourself,” “forgive yourself.” They were words that were directed toward my audience, as I wanted to inspire these things in everyone else, but also to myself as well. I was going through a process of rebirth, and everything I did was done with the desire to wash away my secrets and anxieties so I could reconnect with the person I truly am.
    When Matteo and Valentino were born, I realized how absolutely critical it was for me to find truth and transparency in my life. Even though each day I felt more and more at peace because I knew I was looking for a way and waiting for my moment to come, the birth of my sons definitely accelerated the process. When I first held them in my arms, I not only understood how beautiful and simple life could be, but I also felt the need to be completely transparent with them. I realized that what I want most in the world is for them to be able to live their lives with absolute freedom, and that no matter what, they are always proud of who they are. And to be able to teach this to them, the lesson would have to begin right at home.
    I am not going to live a lie with them, and my children won’t, either. I don’t want my children to have to lie for me, or to go through life with their eyes covered. I want to be honest with them, so that they can in turn be honest with the world. Matteo and Valentino are my angels, my little angels, my sons, and because of them I know I’m capable of doing anything. Today, I know I have to live in absolute balance, and I have to be truly happy with who I am so they can admire me and understand that their papi loves them with his entire soul. If I don’t do it, I will be teaching them to lie and hide from the world, rather than facing it with all the strength and pride of being themselves.
    My children will grow up and eventually go to school, and now I can be at peace knowing they will never have to lie for me. When their friends ask them about their father, they will be able to explain it, without censorship and without fear. I want them to feel proud of their father, just as I will always feel proud of them, no matter what they decide to do with their lives.
    This is the world I am creating for my kids—and I know there are a lot of us who are trying to forge a new generation that will know the real significance of acceptance and tolerance, one that will not know the meaning of the word “prejudice.” It is a world where it doesn’t really matter if you are bisexual, homosexual,