Moonglass

the okay sign again, and Tyler gave it back. When I caught up to them and they both checked with me too, I put my gloved index finger to my thumb, answering that I was okay. It was easy to lie underwater. A lot easier than having to control my voice or avoid eye contact. Or put it all out of my mind. I’d been so good at it for so long, but now something was rising slowly, making its way up through cold, black, winter water, and no matter how hard I pushed, it wouldn’t go back down.
    I was definitely not okay.
    The air flowed easily in and out of my regulator, at a steady rhythm, but I couldn’t breathe. I needed to get out.
    I saw my chance as I followed the deep crevice until it widened and I could see it was lined with spiky purple urchins. Calmly and deliberately I used my right heel to push the fin strap off my left one. I felt it release, and I watched as the fin descended in slow motion into the crack, before coming to rest on a bed of urchins. Then I kicked hard to catch up and grabbed my dad’s ankle, shaking it to get his attention. He turned around slowly, and I pointed to my foot, which now only wore a neoprene bootie. Then I pointed down into the crevice. Through his mask I could see he was pissed. He flashed his light to get Tyler’s attention, and when Tyler swam over, my dad gave the signal for us to surface. We let all the air out of our vests and then began the kick upward, where the light of the moon waved above us, and I started to relax a little in spite of the fact that my dad was not going to be happy. When our heads broke the surface, I was waiting for it.
    “Dammit, Anna,” he spit out, along with his regulator. “I asked you about your fins.” He pulled his mask up to his forehead, then shook his head. “I guess you’re done for the night.” Tyler didn’t say anything, but looked from one of us to the other.
    “I’m sorry.” And I genuinely was. I had just lost a perfectly good fin on purpose, but it was better than having to explain why I didn’t want to be out there. “You guys stay out. I’ll kick in and start getting dinner stuff ready. You already got a couple, right?” He brightened a little at this and looked down at his bag. “Yeah, it’s good out here. Which is why you should have checked your fins.” He looked over my shoulder to the lights of our house. “That’s a long kick in. I don’t want you doing it by yourself with one fin.” He sighed, then looked at Tyler, and I could almost hear him weighing his options. Tyler must have too.
    “I can go in with her,” he offered. He said it almost grudgingly, but I had a feeling it was meant to sound that way.
    I played too. “I’ll be fine, you guys. It’s not that far.” I looked at both of them, and my dad shook his head.
    “No, not by yourself.” He turned to Tyler. “If you’re volunteering, I’ll stay out here and have my limit in half an hour.” Tyler nodded. “Sure. No problem. I got to grab at a few, at least.”
    “I would say you could come back out and find us,” my dad offered, “but by the time you did, we’d probably be done. And I don’t want you getting lost out here either.” He sighed and shook his head yet again. “You two go on in. We shouldn’t be too long. And, Anna, be sure you rinse your gear.” He pulled down his mask and pushed on it until it suctioned to his face.
    Then he stuck his regulator into his mouth and gave a little wave before going back under. That had worked out better than I’d thought it would.
    Tyler and I were left bobbing on the slick surface only a few feet out of the bright path of moonlight. He inflated his vest and floated on his back, face to the sky. “I guess Andy’s not the only one with high-maintenance girl problems. Lose a fin, require a private escort in…. Must be rough to be you.”
    “Shut up.” I splashed at him. “That’s not high maintenance. That’s faulty equipment. And I would have made it in fine. He’s just like that because … of his job. He has to be.” I kicked my single fin so that I floated on my back next to him. He didn’t say anything, and we both drifted there, looking up at the moon.
    Just as the quiet started to feel awkward, I pictured how ridiculous we must look, covered in neoprene from head to toe, floating on our backs with our vests fully inflated, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
    “What?” Tyler strained to lift his head out of the water.
    “Nothing. I’d like to see a picture of this