Never a Hero

under control. “I wondered if you’d like to meet me for a cup of c-coffee. Or a beer, I guess. Something.”
    He was silent for a moment, and I started to feel foolish. Why had I called? Why had I assumed one drunken night of flirting meant anything at all? Then he said, “I get off at five thirty, which means I can be at Mocha Springs Eternal at five thirty-five exactly.”
    I tried to muffle my sigh of relief. “I’ll see you then.”
    It wasn’t until I walked into the coffee shop that I began to regret my decision. First of all, the place was busy. The highly caffeinated after-work crowd swarmed and buzzed around me, and I stepped back outside to wait.
    What did I hope to accomplish here? I’d been so nervous, I’d barely managed to eat lunch, and now here I was, my empty stomach rumbling with nerves. What if drinking a double latte made me sick to my stomach? What if it made my stutter worse? What if—
    “Owen?”
    I turned to find Nathan standing behind me, smiling like a kid. He’d added black tips to his blond and pink spikes. “Hi,” I said stupidly.
    He gestured into the coffee shop. “Did you want to go in?”
    I looked inside, hoping to find a reason to change our plans. “I don’t think there are any empty tables.”
    “Let’s get it to go. It’s a nice night. We can sit by the fountain.”
    By the fountain , I realized, meant outside. “Sounds great.”
    We stood awkwardly next to each other in line, not talking. I managed to order without stuttering too much. It wasn’t until we were waiting for our drinks that he said, “I was surprised to hear from you.”
    “I know it was out of the blue. I hope you don’t mind.”
    “Why would I mind? I could use more calls from cute men.”
    I laughed, but I was glad when the barista called my name. I followed Nathan outside and into the heart of the plaza. The Light District was beginning to flare to life, although it wasn’t dark out yet. “Here,” Nathan said, stopping at a bench.
    We sat and sipped our coffee, watching the people bustle past us. Parents with their children, friends laughing as they headed for home or an after-work drink, uptight men and women with their cell phones clutched like lifelines to their ears, moving frantically through the crowd. It was Nathan who finally broke the silence.
    “Where do you work?”
    After that, it got easier. He was good at asking questions and making small talk. He was funny, too. He told me about his job and how he was saving his money to buy a horse. But finally, he asked the million-dollar question.
    “So, did you and Nick break up?”
    “We weren’t really ever together.”
    “So what was Halloween then? A one-night stand?”
    That was a good question. That certainly wasn’t what I’d had in mind. I was pretty sure it wasn’t what Nick had wanted either. And yet, what else would it be called?
    It made my heart feel heavy in my chest. Was that really what it came down to? I’d lost my virginity, and it was nothing more than a bad cliché? “It’s complicated.”
    Nathan laughed. “Honey, that’s the story of my life. You meet somebody. You like them, they like you. Then you get naked together, and it all goes to hell.”
    I couldn’t help but laugh. “Wow. I guess it isn’t as complicated as I thought.”
    He put his arm along the back of the bench and rested his hand on my shoulder. He moved closer and leaned toward me, making the public park bench feel intimate. “Is that why you called me? Are you really interested in more complications?”
    My stomach fluttered. I was hyperaware of the heat of his hand where it rested on my upper arm. “Maybe.” It came out wrong though. It came out like a question.
    He smiled at me and caressed the side of my neck with his fingers. It felt good—soft and sweet—but it made my heart ache. Why had I ever believed I could substitute Nathan for the man I actually cared about?
    “Don’t get me wrong,” Nathan said, as if reading my mind. “I’m game if you are. I can be your rebound booty call, if that’s really what you want. I don’t think it is, though. I think what you really want is Nick, and when it’s all over I don’t want you feeling like I took advantage of you.”
    I ducked my head to hide my blush. “You’re way too perceptive.”
    “One of my better faults.” He sat back an inch. He didn’t take his hand away from my shoulder, but his touch became less of a caress. It became the solid grip of a friend.