Now or Never

leave us?”
    “I don’t know.”
    Grayson frowned. “Derrick. I really can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry. I can’t go back to being some girl you fuck when you have free time on your hands. I can’t be okay with knowing that you’re going home to another woman every night. I just can’t do it.”
    “Don’t say that.” His voice was gruff as he reached out and grabbed her arms, pulling her to him. His lips crashed down on hers, his hands tangling in her hair. He kissed her so roughly, so full of passion and desire. His tongue stroked hers, his mouth hard and demanding.
    But she forced herself to pull away. “Stop it! I’m done with the mind games. I know I told you not to fall in love with me. I should have taken my own advice. I’m crazy about you, Derrick, and I want to explore this relationship, but I cannot and will not be second fiddle. You need to make up your mind. It’s now or never . Make your damn choice.”

CHAPTER 35

    In the short beat of silence after her declaration, Grayson held her breath. A part of her was already resigned to the fact he was out of reach. That he would forever be a playboy, never ready to settle down or choose.
    However, she was wrong.
    “I’ll take now,” he said roughly and pulled her back to him. “That’s what I came here to tell you, but I’m obviously doing a poor job.”
    For a few stunned seconds, Grayson was speechless. Her voice trembled. “Do you really mean that?” she asked through tears. She could feel the heat of his fingertips through her clothes. “You want me, and only me?
    “I’ve always wanted you. You terrify the hell out of me, and you’re probably going to crush my soul, but I’m willing to take the risk. When I woke up in the hospital, all I could think about was how stupid I was for ignoring you just because my ego was hurt. I hated the thought of another man touching you. I was so jealous. I don’t do jealous, but something about you…somehow you got so deep under my skin. I don’t want to share you. I know it’s selfish, but I want you all to myself.”
    “I don’t want to share you either.” Grayson threw her leg over his and straddled him on the couch, cupping his face between her hands. She could feel his arousal through his pants as his hand slid up her thigh.
    His gaze didn’t waver as he said, “Trust doesn’t come easy to me.”
    “We’ll have to earn each other’s trust. Will you move out? End whatever it is you have going on with Megan?”
    Derrick nodded running his fingers through her hair. “I’ll get my own place. You can help me pick it out.”
    “Will you stay the weekend here with me?” One by one Grayson undid the buttons of his shirt and pulled out the shirt tails. He had on a white T-shirt underneath, and she wanted to rip it off him. She needed to feel his skin on hers.
    “Definitely,” Derrick replied, his voice rough.
    “I’m so glad you’re alive,” Grayson whispered, feeling lame because the statement didn’t really convey the extent of how happy she was he’d survived.
    “Me too,” he murmured into her neck and pulled away to look at her, “I’m sorry I was such an ass.”
    Grayson drew a shaky breath and said quietly, “I’ve never been this afraid.”
    “If you weren’t, I would be worried. We’ll take it one day at a time. I’m sure it won’t all be smooth sailing. I’ll still get jealous and insecure, and we’ll both doubt each other, but anything worthwhile is never easy.”
    She made a face. “I hope I’m enough to tame your wild ways.”
    Derrick laughed, but sobered quickly. “I think that goes both ways. It seems like you had a little too much fun while I was gone.”
    Grayson didn’t miss the way his body tensed. “We’ve both been horrible. Can’t we try starting fresh? Turn over a new leaf, or whatever it is they say?”
    “Do you think we really could just move on from the past?” Derrick asked, running his hands up her bare arms. “I’m worried it’s this big hatchet hovering over our head, and we’ll never have a real chance at moving forward.”
    “I think if we want this bad enough we’re going to have to,” Grayson said simply. “I know it won’t be easy for either of us, but I’m willing to put in the effort if you are.”
    “More than willing.”
    “What do we do now?”
    Derrick’s lips quirked up. “As much as I hate to say it, I think we should spend time together with our clothes on and get to know each