Pictures of Lily

haven’t spoken to Richard since he left to stay at Nathan and Lucy’s on Tuesday night and even though it was him who asked me not to call, I find I’m strangely unwilling to anyway. I think I at least need the weekend on my own to mull things over.
    My mum always works on Friday and Saturday nights so I’m surprised to find her at home. The flat smells of spaghetti Bolognese and for a moment I’m suspicious.
    ‘He’s not coming over,’ she quickly assures me. ‘It’s just you and me.’
    I nod and go to the sofa, kicking off my shoes as I go. ‘I thought you worked on Friday nights.’
    ‘I changed my shift.’ She disappears into the kitchen and comes back a minute later with a glass of white wine. ‘I’m sorry,’ she says, perching on the arm of my sofa. ‘I was wrong to do that to you last night. It had been arranged for a few days and I convinced myself I didn’t need to cancel. But you’re right. I was being selfish. As usual.’ She hands over the glass and I accept her peace-offering. ‘I hope you’re hungry.’ She gets up again. ‘I’m doing garlic bread and everything!’
    We sit outside on the small balcony because it’s a surprisingly balmy night for May in Sydney. We balance our plates on our knees and eat in silence. I’m the one who breaks it.
    ‘Who is he, this Antonio?’
    ‘He owns the restaurant,’ she replies. ‘We don’t have to talk about me,’ she adds.
    ‘No, I want to. So he owns the restaurant? You’ve known him for a while, then.’
    ‘Yes, but it was six months before we discovered we had feelings for each other.’
    ‘Last time I saw you . . .’
    ‘We’d just got together,’ she interrupts. ‘I didn’t know where it was going.’
    ‘But it’s going well now?’
    ‘He’s asked me to marry him.’
    I stare at her in shock. She’s smiling timidly. ‘And you’re not running for the hills?’ I check.
    She shakes her head. ‘Not this time, no.’
    ‘Are you serious?’
    ‘I’ve said yes.’
    I put down my fork on my plate and study her face. All her vital signs appear normal. She doesn’t seem deranged. ‘Blimey. I guess congratulations are in order.’
    ‘Thank you,’ she breathes.
    ‘Where’s your ring?’ I’m being childish because she said this to me so I’m surprised when she places her plate on the tiny table and goes inside. She returns a moment later with an old ring box. She hands it over and I open it to see an antique gold ring inside with an intricate design surrounding a red ruby.
    ‘What, no diamonds?’ I can’t help but say.
    ‘It was his mother’s,’ my mum explains. ‘I need to get it re-sized.’
    I’m in shock. What’s got into her? Antonio, clearly.
    ‘I’m happy for you,’ I say, and find that I mean it, even though I’m still very confused about what this Antonio has over all the men before him.
    ‘I’m sorry,’ she says. ‘I didn’t want to tell you like this when I know you’re going through a tough time.’
    ‘It’s okay.’
    ‘So fill me in on what’s been happening.’
    I sigh and look away. Oh, what the hell. ‘Promise not to be judgemental?’
    ‘I promise.’
    ‘Do you remember Ben who worked at the conservation park? Michael’s colleague – you met him once.’
    ‘I remember,’ she says immediately. ‘In the car park. Tall, good-looking man with blond hair?’
    ‘That’s him.’
    ‘Is he the one?’
    I nod.
    ‘But how old is he?’
    ‘Twelve years older than me.’
    ‘ What ?’
    ‘Mum, you promised not to be judgemental.’ She settles back into her seat and makes a conscious attempt to relax. I fill her in on the rest.
    ‘Oh, darling.’ She looks at me sadly when I’ve finished. ‘We rarely get over unrequited love.’
    ‘Tell me about it.’
    She studies me sceptically, then opens her mouth to speak before shutting it again.
    ‘What is it?’ I ask.
    She takes a deep breath and exhales loudly. ‘I was in love with a married man before I met your father.’ She pauses for a moment, her expression tense. ‘Nothing ever happened between us, but I knew he felt something for me too. He had two children. He would never have left his family. I know it’s wrong, but I slept with your father to make him jealous.’ She pauses. ‘I didn’t mean to fall pregnant, but I did. Is this too hard for you to hear?’
    I shake my head, willing her to go on.
    ‘After that, I’d made my bed and had to lie on it, but I’ve never loved anyone like I loved him.’
    ‘Did