Pictures of Lily

the next day in bed, and don’t even have to pretend to be ill. When Michael gets home that night, I’m wondering how I can stay off another day. I’m not ready to face Ben again. I plan to skip work just like I skipped school when all that Shannon/Dan stuff hit the pan.
    ‘I hope you’re feeling better, darl, because we’ve got some understaffing issues at the moment.’
    My heart sinks. ‘Really?’
    ‘Yep. Two of the team have come down with a weird summer flu strain, another is on annual leave and even Ben’s got tomorrow off, so we could do with an extra pair of hands.’
    I don’t hear the last ten words because ‘Ben’s got tomorrow off’ is all I need to know.
    ‘I am feeling a bit better, thank you,’ I say. ‘I’m sure I’ll make it in. I just hope I don’t relapse,’ I add, keeping all bases covered.
    I’m on edge the next day at work, half-expecting to see Ben walk around the corner at any given moment. He doesn’t, and as the day progresses, I start to relax. At lunchtime I wander down to visit Roy the roo, and as I approach I see a family standing in the shade near a group of kangaroos. I smile as a girl of about twelve excitedly points to a joey’s foot poking out of the top of its mother’s pouch. And then I watch, horrified, as the little girl’s father creeps in and gives the foot a tug, trying to pull out the joey. The alarmed kangaroo mother jumps up and hops away, and the whole family bursts into laughter. I stare at them, disgusted. I hate people like this. They turn to go and spy me standing there.
    ‘You shouldn’t do that,’ I say, as the smiles drop from their faces.
    ‘Er, sorry.’ The father looks suitably ashamed of himself. At least that’s something.
    ‘Come on, let’s go and see the emus,’ the mum says, and the family scurry away from me in embarrassment.
    I sigh and scan the paddock for Roy. As soon as I sit by his side in the shade of a tree my spirits lift. I’m so lucky to have this job. I don’t want to quit. I don’t want to run away this time.
    Unsurprisingly, my bravado doesn’t last until the following morning when Michael and I set off for work. I’m trying to come up with ways to avoid Ben all day, but he’s right there in the staffroom when we arrive.
    ‘How was your day off?’ Michael asks him, leaving me to attend to our teas in peace. I’m grateful to have something to do.
    ‘Yeah, alright, thanks,’ Ben replies.
    ‘Do you want one?’ I find myself asking Ben. I will not be bowed by you! And then I nearly crack up giggling at the sound of my own melodrama.
    ‘Er, sure,’ Ben replies, looking taken aback at the sight of me on the verge of hysteria.
    That’s right, buster, I say to myself. I will not be bowed by you! I’m still fighting off the urge to laugh when I pass him his tea.
    ‘Thanks.’
    ‘Cheers!’ I say chirpily and chink mugs with him and Michael. They look at each other like they think I’ve gone mad.
    ‘Might pop outside for some fresh air,’ I tell them, swiftly making an exit.
    I take a deep breath and exhale loudly as I wander down the path away from the staffroom, my mug of hot tea still in my hand. I pause in front of some birdcages and stare through the wire at a Bush Stone-curlew. Its huge, inquisitive-looking eyes stare back at me. There’s something almost childlike about these birds.
    Approaching footsteps make me turn my head towards the curve in the path and my hands begin to tremble as I see Ben round the corner. I quickly force myself to take a sip of my tea to give myself something to do.
    ‘Hey,’ he says.
    ‘Hello.’
    ‘How’s it going?’ To his credit, he’s trying to sound upbeat.
    ‘Fine.’
    ‘Are you coming to help out with the koalas today?’
    ‘Um, not sure.’
    ‘Okay.’ He presses his forehead with his thumb. ‘I could do with the help. Two of the koalas are on the Heinz diet at the moment.’
    That means they’re underweight. We feed them pumpkin and sweetcorn baby food – the one in a can – when their weight continues to fall.
    ‘Oh, right.’
    ‘Lily, I—’
    ‘Yes, what the hell,’ I interrupt. ‘Count me in.’
    He smiles with relief. ‘Cool. Good. See you there in a minute, yeah?’
    ‘As soon as I finish my tea.’ Slurp.
    ‘Cool,’ he repeats.
    And then he’s gone. I sigh heavily.
    As the day goes on, the awkwardness between us begins to fade. Humiliation had temporarily dulled my feelings for him, but as my embarrassment fades, the pain