Pictures of Lily

hates it when the ferry messes up her hair and her bridesmaid barnet needs extra protection today.
    ‘Forget it,’ Richard says.
    I turn back to him and am engulfed with regret. ‘I’m so sorry. Of course I’ll marry you.’
    His eyes light up. ‘You will?’
    ‘Of course.’
    He grabs my face and presses a long kiss onto my lips. I break away, giggling. ‘But look, let’s not tell anyone yet. It’s Nathan and Lucy’s day.’
    ‘Okay.’ He beams and I’m glad I’ve made him happy.
    I’ve just said yes to getting married! What the hell am I thinking? My heart starts to pound and I feel dizzy. Why did I do that? Why?
    Richard puts his arm around me and pulls me tighter. I feel like I’m suffocating. I flap my hand in front of my face.
    ‘Are you alright?’ he asks with concern.
    ‘Feeling a little faint. I didn’t eat enough for breakfast.’
    ‘We’ll be eating at the reception soon,’ he says. ‘Do you want me to get you anything?’ He pats his pockets, as though expecting a packet of biscuits to appear miraculously.
    ‘No, no, it’s okay.’ I manage a weak smile. ‘I might stand up by the railings though, get some air.’
    ‘Okay.’ He rises to his feet to come with me. I wish he wouldn’t. I want some time to myself right now, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings. He leads the way and we go to join Sam.
    ‘Alright, mate?’ Richard says. ‘Mikey looks like he’s enjoying himself.’
    ‘He loves boats,’ Sam comments woefully. ‘Always going on about them. “Boat! Boat! Boat!” It’s all I ever hear.’
    He tries to laugh it off, but there’s fear in Sam’s eyes. Mikey was named after Sam’s dad. His parents died in a boating accident years ago and I imagine he’s terrified of the same thing happening to his son.
    I lean over the railings and hang out as we approach the Sydney Opera House. It’s quite windy today and multicoloured sailboats are out in force. To my right, Sam and Richard continue to chat.
    Are you happy, Ben?
    I waited for him for two years. I was like a zombie when he left. I don’t know how I managed to get through school. If it hadn’t been for Shane’s sister Tammy, I would have crumbled to dust. She picked me up. She introduced me to people. I made new friends. I settled in. I gradually started to move on.
    But I never forgot him. And I never got over him. The day he got married was the day I felt like my life had ended. And a year later, when Michael revealed that Ben and Charlotte were trying for a baby, I found the willpower to stop asking about him.
    My eighteenth birthday came and went. But there was no going back to England now. He had destroyed it for me. I never wanted to go home again.
    The sad thing was, Michael asked Mum to marry him. I know, fancy saying that: ‘the sad thing was . . .’ It should have been a happy event, but it was the ultimate kiss of death for their relationship. Poor Michael. He should have known better. I still tell myself he had a lucky escape. Anyway, Mum decided to check out the men in Sydney. I didn’t have to go with her, but I thought perhaps a fresh start would be a good idea. Adelaide was still too painful. Even after all that time, talk of the conservation park, glances up at Mount Lofty, going into the city or to the beach and – God forbid – any of my friends arranging to meet at the lily pond . . . It all hurt too much. And the pain never seemed to dull. No guy could have taken my mind off him. I was asked out on several occasions, but I always said no. I thought maybe I’d feel differently if I moved to another part of Australia. It took a while, but I finally started to date again.
    I met Richard two years ago when he’d just returned from the UK, of all places. He went there with his builder buddy Nathan to travel and get some work experience in another country. Now the two of them own a small construction business together. It keeps them busy.
    Cheering brings me back to the present. The ferry is pulling into Circular Quay and our wedding party is preparing to get off. Up ahead, Nathan has lifted Lucy into his arms. Everyone claps as he carries his bride off the boat.
    Despite my own reservations about marriage, I can’t help but smile. They make such a lovely couple. They always have. Lucy looks beautiful in a long, simple white dress. Nathan looks even more gorgeous than usual in a slim-fitting black suit and white shirt. No tie. I’ve never seen Nathan in a tie. He may be doing