Point of Retreat

that happened Thursday night. Our cars. Where are our cars? I should probably be calling the insurance company. What about school? I missed school today. Or was it yesterday? I don’t even know if it’s Saturday yet. I probably won't be in school next week, either. I should figure out who Lake's professors are and let them know she won't be there. I should probably let my professors know, too. And the elementary. What do I tell them? I don't know when the boys will go back. If Lake is still in the hospital next week, I know Kel won't want to go to school. But he just missed an entire week of school. He can't miss very many more days. And what about Caulder? Where are Kel and Caulder going to stay while Lake and I are here? I'm not leaving this hospital without Lake. I may not even leave with Lake if I don't figure out what to do about a car. My car. Where is my car?
     
    "Will."
     
    I glance to the door. No one's there. Now I'm hearing things. Too many thoughts are jumbled up in my head right now. I wonder if Sherry left me any of her medicine? I bet she did. She probably snuck it in my bag.
     
    "Will."
     
    I jerk up in my seat and look at Lake. Her eyes are closed. She isn't moving. I know I heard my name. I know I did! I rush to her and touch her face. "Lake?"
     
    She flinches. She flinches! "Lake!"
     
    Her lips part and she says it again. "Will?"
     
    She squints her eyes. She's trying to open them. I flick the light switch off, then pull the string to the overhead light until it turns off. I know how much these fluorescent lights hurt.
     
    "Lake," I whisper. I pull the rail down and climb back into the bed with her. I kiss her lips. I kiss her forehead. "Don't try to talk if it hurts. You're okay. I'm right here. You're okay." She moves her hand so I take it in mine. "Can you feel my hand?"
     
    She nods her head. It's not much of a nod, but it's a nod.
     
    "You're okay," I say. I keep saying it over and over until I'm crying. "You're okay."
     
    The door to her room opens and a nurse walks in.
     
    “She said my name!”
     
    She looks up at me, then rushes back out of the room to get Dr. Bradshaw.
     
    "Get up, Will,” he says when he walks into the room. “Let us run some tests. We'll let you back in soon."
     
    "She said my name," I say as I slide off the bed. "She said my name!"
     
    He smiles at me. "Go outside."
     
    And so I do. For over half an hour. No one has left the room and no one has entered and it's been half a freakin' hour. I knock on the door and the nurse cracks it open. I try to peek past her but she doesn't open the door far enough. "Just a few more minutes," she says.
     
    I contemplate calling everyone but I don't. I just need to make sure I wasn't hearing things, but I know she heard me. She spoke to me. She moved.
     
    Dr. Bradshaw opens the door and steps outside. The nurses follow him out the door.
     
    "I heard her, right? She's okay? She said my name!"
     
    "Calm down, Will. You need to calm down. They won't let you stay in here if you keep freaking out like this."
     
    Calm down? He has no idea just how calm I'm being!
     
    "She's responding," he says. "Her physical responses were all good. She doesn't remember what happened. She may not remember a lot of stuff right away. She needs rest, Will. I'll let you back inside, but you'll need to let her rest."
     
    "Okay, I will. I promise. I swear."
     
    "I know. Now go," he says.
     
    When I open the door, she's facing me. She smiles a really pathetic, painful-looking smile.
     
    "Hey," I whisper. I walk to her bed and stroke her cheek.
     
    "Hey," she whispers back.
     
    "Hey."
     
    “Hey,” she says again.
     
    “Hey.”
     
    "Stop it," she says. She tries to laugh but it hurts her. She closes her eyes.
     
    I pull down the rail and crawl back into the bed with her. I take her hand in mine and I bury my face in the crevice between her shoulder and her neck…and I cry.
     
    ***
     
    For the next few hours she goes in and out of consciousness, just like Dr. Bradshaw said she would. Every time she wakes up she says my name. Every time she says my name I tell her to close her eyes and get some rest. Every time I tell her to close her eyes and get some rest, she does.
     
    Dr. Bradshaw comes in a few times to check on her. They lower the dose in the I.V. one more time so she can stay awake for longer periods. I decide not to call anyone yet. It’s still too early and I don’t want everyone bombarding her right now. I just