Public Secrets

shoulders. She sat back to drum her fingers on the pad and study Emma. “Is it being here, in New York?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” But she’d been tense the last couple of days in London as well, unable to shake the feeling she was being watched, followed. Stalked.
Stupid. She took three deliberate breaths. In all likelihood the tension stemmed from finally acknowledging her guilt and shame, and her anger, which revolved around Darren and Drew. And yet, once she had, she felt relief.
“You want to quit?” Even as she asked, Marianne took out the pencil and began to sketch again. She’d always wanted to capture that quiet, haunted look in Emma’s eyes. “We could run uptown, go to Bloomies, or go to Elizabeth Arden ’s for the works. I haven’t had a facial in weeks.”
“I’ve been meaning to mention how haggard you look.” She smiled so that the dimple winked at the corner of her mouth. “What is it, vitamins, macrobiotics, sex? You look wonderful.”
“I think it might be love.”
“The dentist?”
“Who? Oh, no. Talk of root canals destroyed our relationship. His name’s Ross. I met him about six months ago.”
“Six months ago.” Emma arched a brow. “And you never mentioned him.”
“I thought I might jinx it.” With a shrug, Marianne turned the pad and started a new sketch. “Shift a little, would you? Turn your head. Yeah.”
“Serious.” Emma glanced out the window. Her stomach did a little loop so that she had to inhale slowly. People were hurrying along below, chased by a chill wind that threatened rain or sleet. There was a man standing in the doorway of the deli, smoking. She would have sworn he looked right at her. “What?” she said when she heard Marianne’s voice.
“I said it could be. I’d like it to be. The problem is, he’s a senator.”
“As in U.S.?”

“The gentleman from Virginia. Can you see me as one of those classy Washington wives?”
“Yes,” Emma said and smiled. “I can.”
“Teas and protocol.” Marianne wrinkled her nose. “I can’t imagine actually having to sit through a speech on the defense budget. What are you staring at?”
“Oh. Nothing.” With a quick shake of her head, Emma shifted her gaze. “There’s just a man standing down on the street.”
“Imagine that. In downtown New York. You’re tensing up again.”
“Sorry.” Deliberately she looked away and tried to relax. “Paranoia,” she said, hoping for a light touch. “So, do I get to meet the politician?”
“He’s in D.C.” In two strokes Marianne penciled in Emma’s brow. “If you weren’t in such a hurry to get back to L.A., you could go down with me next weekend.”
“It is serious then.”
“Semi. Emma, what is so fascinating out there?”
“It’s just this man. It’s almost as if he’s looking right at me.”
“Sounds more like vanity than paranoia.” Pushing herself up, Marianne walked to the window. “Probably waiting to make a drug deal,” she decided. She moved away again to pick up her long-neglected coffee cup. “In the serious vein, what about Michael? Are you going to give the man and his dog a break?”
“I want to take my time.”
“You’ve been taking your time with Michael since you were thirteen,” Marianne pointed out. “What’s it like to have a man carry a torch for you for over ten years?”
“It’s not like that.”
“It’s exactly like that. In fact, I’m surprised he managed to stay on the Coast when you told him you were going to visit here for a couple of days before flying back.”
“He wants to get married.”
“Well, you could knock me over with a twenty-foot crane. Who’d have guessed it?”
“I suppose I haven’t wanted to think about what happens next.”
“That’s only because you’ve blocked the M word out of your vocabulary for a while. So what are you going to do about it?”
“It?”

“The two Ms. Marriage and Michael.”
“I don’t know.” She looked out the window again. He was still there, standing patiently. “I’m going to wait until I see him again. We both may feel differently now that things have settled down, and our lives are getting back to normal. Dammit.”
“What?”
“I don’t know why I didn’t realize it before. Da’s hired a bodyguard again.” She turned her head quickly, eyes narrowed. “Did you know about this?”
“No.” Marianne stirred herself to go to the window and look out again. “Brian never said a word to me. Look, the guy’s just standing around.