Pulse

day and finding that the hand they were reaching out for was no longer there. And also, there didn’t seem to be any reason not to hold hands. No one was watching. No one knew. Faith wished that wasn’t true, but it was.
    “It feels empty tonight,” Liz said. “More so than usual.”
    Faith knew Liz was nervous. She would talk about Noah endlessly, but it terrified her to think that Faith might find someone, might fall away from her and never return. She pulled Liz closer, bumping shoulders, and Liz smiled up at her.
    “I don’t think he likes me. Why would he?” Faith asked. A week had passed, and while Hawk had become like a shadow stuck to her side, Wade Quinn had been elusive.
    “Of course he likes you,” Liz said, pulling playfully on Faith’s hand. “You’re skinny and tall and blond, and you’ve got some boobs on you. He’s just nervous is all.”
    “I’m glad you’re not being superficial about this,” said Faith sarcastically. “I wouldn’t want him liking me for my brain.”
    “He’s sixteen. I’m pretty sure he’s not thinking about your brain.”
    Faith shrugged it off, but she smiled, too. She had seen Wade in the halls and had even caught him looking at her. And he’d messaged her a totally lame but very cute drawing of a flower after seeing her wear a yellow T-shirt with a single white daisy on the front, a daisy Faith had painted onto the shirt herself. There had been a short series of Tablet messages during the week. She hadn’t said anything to Liz about the messages, and as they came to the edge of the lake where the grade school playground sat, she thought of what they’d said.
    Wade: Where do I land on a scale of 1 to 10?
    Faith: A solid 8, 2 if you’re drawing daisies. What about me?
    Wade: Eleven.
    It had gone quiet after that, and she wasn’t about to turbo anything. Better to wait him out than to dive in and scare him off.
    Liz let go of Faith’s hand when she saw the swings, and they both started running. Only one swing was attached on both sides, and they had long made a game of racing as soon as their feet left the path and touched the grass. The first one there rode, the second one pushed. They were evenly matched and often arrived together, each of them grabbing a chain on either side of the swing and arguing over who would swing and who would not.
    “You go ahead,” Liz offered, even though she’d arrived first. “I feel like pushing tonight.”
    Faith climbed aboard, leaning back and staring into the starry night. Liz put one hand on each side of Faith’s hips and pulled Faith close, then slowly pushed her away and let go, her hands empty in the cool evening air.
    “How much longer do you think we can stay out here?” Liz asked, knowing it was a touchy subject.
    “I don’t know. A long time, I think.”
    Faith’s long hair bunched up around her face as she swung back and felt Liz’s hands on her back, pushing her away.
    “I’m not so sure,” Liz said. She looked off into the darkness in the direction of the Western State, which waited for them a hundred miles away.
    If Liz could have seen Faith’s expression, she would have known that Faith didn’t want to talk about leaving. She never wanted to talk about leaving. The Western State would let them stay as long as they wanted. But it wouldn’t do anything to help anyone on the outside. Help from the States had long since vanished.
    “Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we went there?” Liz asked.
    “It’s not up to us. If our parents want to go, we’re going. But I don’t think they’ll want to leave for a long time.”
    Faith’s Tablet buzzed in her back pocket, and she took it out, holding on to the chain with one hand while glancing at a familiar message from her mom.
Don’t stay out too late;
you know how your dad gets.
    Faith was not close to her parents; none of the kids who remained were. They mostly interacted with their parents through their Tablets—little messages sent back and forth—and stayed to themselves. Faith didn’t know if this was how it had always been; but it was what she knew, and it felt normal.
    “Did you see the posting today?” Liz asked, stopping the swing.
    “Yeah, I saw it. There’s no way it can be that good.” They started walking again, moving toward the grade school.
    Postings were video messages that arrived on all the Tablets carried by people outside the States. For Faith and Liz, their messages came from the Western State,