Rant

idiot if I say the best part of Party Crashing, what makes it best, is it’s like this breaker? A circuit breaker? How about if your mom is yelling, calling you a lazy fuck, and you lost another job, and your friends from school, they have everything going, and you don’t even have a date? What if it’s a total toilet in your head, but out of nowhereslam-bo!—somebody crashes into you, and you’re better? Isn’t it like a gift, somebody slamming you? Don’t you get out of the car, all shaky and shocked? Like you’re a baby getting born? Or a whole relaxing massage that happens in one-half a second?
    Isn’t Party Crashing like an electroshock treatment for your depression?
    From the Field Notes of Green Taylor Simms: The night Rant died, he wore a blue denim shirt embroidered quite enthusiastically, if not expertly, with a variety of rainbows and flowers. The shirt was quite a departure from his usual blue coveralls which reeked of insecticide. I seem to recall columbines, or a similar native flower species, stitched in purple, circling the collar. On the chest pocket, over his heart, an emerald-green hummingbird hovered, feeding from a yellow daffodil.
    Lew Terry ( Property Manager): The only other occasion I entered Casey’s apartment was, one day I go down to the basement to clean out the recycling bins, and dumped there in the clear-glass bin is those jars I seen in his closet, only empty. No spiders. On the top of each jar, Casey’s put the name “Dorry” or “June.” On every jar, a girl’s name.
    The company where Casey worked, the exterminators said he’d quit. He wasn’t so much killing bugs as he was just relocating them. Seeing how this was a vermin issue, I’m allowed to use my pass key and take a look. Was nothing left on the premises but his empty suitcase and those little dark lumps on the wall above the bed, no bugs or rats, nothing. The only thing out of the ordinary was a plain white egg, set in the middle of his bed pillow. And if anybody’s saying I took that egg, it was the police detectives who took it. Since then, the county threatens to fine us, we have so many poison spiders. The crazy bastard must’ve set loose his whole friggin’ collection.
    Echo Lawrence ( Party Crasher): Picture it. We’d mixed hours of Christmas music to blast. For two hours before the ten o’clock window, teams cruised around, showing off their trees. Parading cars, streaming with silver icicles. Cars shaggy with gold tinsel and shaking off glass balls that popped in the street. People stood on every corner, wearing red hats with white fur trim, waving for places on a team, shouting and flashing skin to get a spot in any car really done up in lights and decorations. Hundreds of Tag Team wannabes dressed as Santa Claus.
    Shot Dunyun ( Party Crasher): How weird is this? You’d cruise past a Santa Claus standing on some corner, and jolly old Santa would flash you his rack. Her rack. Tits on St. Nick. That’s the kind of carnival that Tree Night turns into.
    Echo Lawrence: There’s no team loyalty for the two hours before the window. As everybody parades their decorations, people are climbing in and out of cars. Pit-stopping. Teams come together and dissolve. Just this mingling, mixing party that takes place in a milling sea of lit-up cars.
    Shot Dunyun: About a minute before the window opens, every car kills its Christmas lights and scatters. Beyond instantly, we’re back to being enemies.
    Echo Lawrence: All I remember is Shot was all: “No mistletoe! No kissing! No rabies!”
    From the Field Notes of Green Taylor Simms: Pit-stop culture developed as an offshoot of Party Crashing. Teams stopped in order to refuel, members used the public bathrooms and bought food and coffee. Initially, teams completed their business as quickly as possible and rejoined the game, but occasionally teams would linger at a gas station or a convenience-store parking lot. Pit-stop culture is perceived as a safe resting place or refuge during any Party Crashing event.
    The Tree Night in question, we’d stopped at a gas station. Rant told us he’d refuel the car while Echo, Shot, and I went inside for provisions.
    Echo Lawrence: Standing there, pumping the gas, Rant asked for pork rinds. Rinds and root beer. Shot Dunyun: Corn dogs with mustard for me. Corn chips. Microwaved nachos.
    From the Field Notes of Green Taylor Simms: My weakness, I confess, is for Red Vines licorice. Shot Dunyun: And beefjerky.
    From the