Savage Tales

there's always a party."
    "I have… money."
    Lam was actually living at a hostel washing dishes mornings and getting a free breakfast and dinner. He had about $12.
    "How long you looking to party?" said Cindy.
    "Oh, I can party all night."
    "All night, huh? Well, I hope you're a big spender. That'll run you at least a grand."
    What was a grand? Was it one of the coins? He had several coins. He hoped it would be enough.
    "Sure, sure," said Lam. "Where I meet you, baby?"
    "How about your place?" she said.
    "Not so good. How about you place?"
    "Fine. Nine o'clock sound good?"
    "Sound good."
    She gave him the address of her hotel and everything seemed wonderful.

    When he arrived at the Motel 6 he had used deodorant so he smelled good. He only used it on special occasions… he initially hesitated but told himself to stop being a cheapskate and went for three strokes on each armpit.
    Cindy smiled a phony smile and invited him in.
    "How you doing, baby?" said Lam.
    "I'm fine. So… I have to ask for the money in advance, and then we can get the party going."
    "Oh sure, baby. How much is?"
    "One grand."
    "Right. How much is one grand? My English."
    "One grand is one thousand dollars."
    Lam licked his lips, looked at the door, then laughed. "For you, baby? In my country you maybe fifteen dollar."
    "You don't have the money?"
    "Why women always interested in money this, money that, money, money, money?"
    "You don't have the money. Fuck! Wasting my time. Asshole!"
    "Me?"
    She went to her cell phone on the dresser and made a call. "Yeah," she said into the phone. "Another douchebag prank. I'm sorry, baby, I know you're busy."
    Cindy hung up.
    "I can get money another time," said Lam. "We still party?"
    "Oh yeah, we're gonna party all right, just not the kind of party you had in mind."
    "Three girl you mean? You call friend for special because I famous in my country?"
    "Some kind of threesome."
    Lam launched at her and shot his hands to her breasts. She screeched and Lam began to wipe her clothes off as best he could. Why did she resist.
    As he began chewing on her shoulder he heard the door open.
    "Ah, you friend come join," said Lam.
    Someone grabbed his shirt from behind and pulled him off Cindy. This was certainly a very muscular girl. He looked to see her, but it was a man. This was not at all in his line.
    "Goodnight," said the man.
    "Goodnight?" said Lam.

    Lam awoke in an alley behind Caesar's Palace, looking at the wall. The bricks. So dirty. His head. Somersaults. He touched his hand to his face. It felt bumpy and strange, like a new moon. He tried to stand and everything hurt. Every direction hurt. Every thought was pain. It was like a hangover through every inch of his body.
    He reached in his pocket. His mixtape was gone! He must have left it at Cindy's. How was he going to be a star now? He would have to go back and get it, he realized.
    Stumbling down the alley, he entered a Burger King and found the restroom, where he saw a horrible creature looking back from the mirror. He washed off what would wash off and sighed over the rest, hoping his champion looks would one day return. He asked the man at the register (who wore a cool hat that said Burger King) where the nearest Motel 6 was. The man asked if he had GPS. Lam said no. The man asked Lam if he had an internet connection because then he could just map it with Google Maps or Mapquest or Yahoo Maps. Lam said no, he did not have an internet connection. The man then joked and asked if Lam had running water. Lam didn't realize he was joking and said that no, he did not have running water. Then the man drew Lam a map, and it turned out that the Motel 6 was just a few blocks away.
    Lam arrived after several hours of slow walking and forced his way up the stairs to the room that had been intended for pleasure just a short time before. He went to that now-horrible place and paused to digest the number on its door. 45. What did it mean.
    He knocked and waited. Nobody opened the door. He knocked and waited some more.
    Then from down the hall a Hispanic woman came to Lam and said, "Is nobody there. They checks out."
    "What you mean they checks out?" said Lam. "They have my cassette tape. How will I become famous?"
    "You leave something?" she said. "We can go in and check."
    She opened the door and Lam could see that it was hopeless. The room was a mess from Lam's beating and there was no sign of the cassette. Lam and the woman searched everywhere.
    Finally Lam decided