Soul Music

“I thought—”
    The wizards went rigid as the howl rang through the building. It was slightly animal but also mineral, metallic, edged like a saw.
    Eventually the Lecturer in Recent Runes said, “Of course, just because we’ve heard a spine-chilling bloodcurdling scream of the sort to make your very marrow freeze in your bones doesn’t automatically mean there’s anything wrong.”
    The wizards looked out into the corridor.
    “It came from downstairs somewhere,” said the Chair of Indefinite Studies, heading for the staircase.
    “So why are you going upstairs? ”
    “Because I’m not daft!”
    “But it might be some terrible emanation!”
    “You don’t say?” said the Chair, still accelerating.
    “All right, please yourself. That’s the students floor up there.”
    “Ah. Er—”
    The Chair came down slowly, occasionally glancing fearfully up the stairs.
    “Look, nothing can get in,” said the Senior Wrangler. “This place is protected by very powerful spells.”
    “That’s right,” said Recent Runes.
    “And I’m sure we’ve all been strengthening them periodically, as is our duty,” said the Senior Wrangler.
    “Er. Yes. Yes. Of course,” said Recent Runes.
    The sound came again. There was a slow, pulsating rhythm in the roar.
    “The Library, I think,” said the Senior Wrangler.
    “Anyone seen the Librarian lately?”
    “He always seems to be carrying something when I see him. You don’t think he’s up to something occult, do you?”
    “This is a magical university.”
    “Yes, but more occult is what I mean.”
    “Keep together, will you?”
    “I am together.”
    “For if we are united, what can possibly harm us?”
    “Well, (1), a great big—”
    “Shut up!”
    The Dean opened the Library door. It was warm, and velvety quiet. Occasionally a book would rustle its pages or clank its chains restlessly.
    A silvery light was coming from the stairway to the basement. There was also the occasional “ook.”
    “He doesn’t sound very upset,” said the Bursar.
    The wizards crept down the steps. There was no mistaking the door—the light streamed from it.
    The wizards stepped into the cellar.
    They stopped breathing.
    It was on a raised dais in the center of the floor, with candles all around it.
    It was Music With Rocks In.

    A tall dark figure skidded around the corner into Sator Square and, accelerating, pounded through the gateway of Unseen University.
    It was seen only by Modo, the dwarf gardener, as he happily wheeled his manure barrow through the twilight. It had been a good day. Most days were, in his experience.
    He hadn’t heard about the Festival. He hadn’t heard about Music With Rocks In. Modo didn’t hear about most things, because he wasn’t listening. He liked compost. Next to compost he liked roses, because they were something to compost the compost for.
    He was by nature a contented dwarf, who took in his short stride all the additional problems of gardening in a high magical environment, such as greenfly, whitefly, and lurching things with tentacles. Proper lawn maintenance could be a real problem when things from another dimension were allowed to slither over it.
    Someone pounded across it and disappeared through the doorway of the Library.
    Modo looked at the marks and said, “Oh, dear.”

    The wizards started breathing again.
    “Oh, my,” said the Lecturer in Recent Runes.
    “Rave In…” said the Senior Wrangler.
    “Now that’s what I call Music With Rocks In,” sighed the Dean. He stepped forward with the rapt expression of a miser in a gold mine.
    The candlelight glittered off black and silver. There was a lot of both.
    “Oh, my,” said the Lecturer in Recent Runes. It was like some kind of incantation.
    “I say, isn’t that my nose-hair mirror?” said the Bursar, breaking the spell. “That’s my nose-hair mirror, I’m sure—”
    Except that while the black was black the silver wasn’t really silver. It was whatever mirrors and bits of shiny tin and tinsel and wire the Librarian had been able to scrounge and bend into shape…
    “—it’s got the little silver frame…why’s it on that two-wheeled cart? Two wheels one after the other? Ridiculous. It’ll fall over, depend upon it. And where’s the horse going to go, may I ask?”
    The Senior Wrangler tapped him gently on the shoulder.
    “Bursar? Word to the wizard, old chap.”
    “Yes? What is it?”
    “I think if you don’t stop talking this minute , the Dean will kill