Tales of the City 06 - Sure of You

Neptune.
    “Maybe it’s better when the tide changes.” As usual, Michael refused to abandon his fantasies.
    “What is it now? High or low?”
    “Who knows?” He looked around, assessing the structure.
    “The design is nice, though. It’s kind of neoclassical postmodern. I like those carved stones.”
    “They’re from cemeteries,” she told him.
    “They are?”
    “That’s what I heard.”
    He sat down in an alcove and caressed the contours of the stones. Joining him, she gazed out at the billowing sails, the gulls swooping low over the water. After a silence, she said: “I’m sorry we’ve lost touch lately.”
    “That’s O.K.”
    “My schedule gets the best of me sometimes.”
    “I know.”
    “Brian fills me in on you, so…I feel connected somehow.”
    “Yeah.” He nodded. “He does that for me too.”
    “I don’t want us to drift apart, Mouse. I count on you for too much.”
    He studied her for a moment. “Was that what you wanted to tell me?”
    She shook her head.
    “What is it, then?”
    “Burke has offered me a job.”
    “A job?”
    “In New York. As host of a syndicated talk show.”
    He took a while to absorb this, but he seemed more amazed than horrified. “You’re kidding.”
    “No.”
    “Like…national?”
    “Yes.”
    “Hot damn!”
    “Isn’t it incredible?”
    “Are you taking it?” he asked.
    “Looks like it. Burke doesn’t know that yet, but I’ve pretty much decided.”
    “What does Brian think?”
    “I haven’t told him yet. I wanted to sort things out first.”
    A couple approached, checking out the Wave Organ. “How is it?” asked the woman.
    “Iffy,” Michael told her.
    The man pressed his head against one of the stone periscopes. He was wearing enough polyester to have been a member of Mary Ann’s studio audience. “What are you supposed to hear?” he asked.
    “We’re not sure,” said Mary Ann.
    The man listened for a while, then grunted and walked away. This was apparently enough for his wife, who didn’t bother to listen. As they left, she stopped abruptly in front of Mary Ann. “I have to tell you,” she said. “I loved your show on phone sex.”
    Mary Ann did her best to be gracious. “That’s very sweet of you.”
    The woman fled, her message delivered, joining her husband as he left the seawall.
    Michael turned and grinned at her. “Are you sure you want to be bigger than this?”
    She pressed her finger to her temple and pretended to ponder the issue.
    “O.K.,” he said. “Stupid question.”
    This was what she loved about him. He could wriggle in closer to her real self than anyone she had ever known. He could stay there longer too, snuggled up against her burning ambition like a cat against a coal stove.
    “Will you be…like the main host?”
    She nodded. “They’re gonna keep the name. Mary Ann in the Morning.”
    “Perfect. How star-making.”
    “Isn’t it?”
    “So what’s the problem?” he asked. “Are you afraid that Brian won’t want to go?”
    “No,” she answered. “I’m afraid that he will.”
    His face remained composed, but he obviously understood.
    “I don’t love him anymore, Mouse. I haven’t loved him for a long time.”
    Looking away, he said “Shit” so softly that it sounded like a prayer.
    “I know how this must seem to you. We haven’t exactly talked about…”
    “What about Shawna?”
    She paused to measure out her words. “I wouldn’t take her away from him. She belongs here as much as he does.”
    He nodded.
    “Even if I did still…feel something, it wouldn’t be fair to make him leave. The nursery means more to him than anything he’s ever done. He wouldn’t be happy in New York. It’s a whole different world. You saw him the other night with the Rands.”
    “What was wrong with him?”
    “Nothing was wrong . He just wasn’t…comfortable. It’s not his game; it never has been. He says so himself, all the time.” She searched Michael’s long-lashed brown eyes for a response. “You know that’s true. It would kill him to be reduced to being my escort again.”
    “Yeah,” he replied, somewhat absently.
    “There was a time when we had something, but it just isn’t there anymore.”
    He kept his eyes on the water. “Are you still in love with Burke?”
    She had expected this, of course. “No. Not a bit.”
    “Is he in love with you?”
    She gave him a small, ironic smile. “I’m not sure he even likes me. This is business, Mouse. I swear. Nothing