The Forsaken

arms, stretching out my bruised, aching legs. Liam sits down nearby and hands me a water flask.
    “I’m impressed. You’re picking stuff up faster’n Gadya did.”
    “I guess I should thank you for training me. But honestly? I feel like I’m gonna croak.”
    He smiles. “Then, I’m doing my job.”
    I take a swig of water. Then I pass the flask back to Liam. We sit there in silence for a moment.
    “Sorry about the other night,” he finally says. “I mean, the part where I tried to kiss you.”
    “You didn’t just try. You actually did kiss me, remember?”
    “Well, I’m sorry. I mean, if I came on too strong.”
    “No big deal,” I tell him. I want him to know how much I like him, but I’m nervous, afraid I’ll just complicate things even more if I speak, so I stay silent.
    “You know how I feel about you,” he continues. “I think you’re awesome.” He pauses. “I’m cool with just being friends, if that’s all you want. Okay?”
    I’m still thinking about the fact that he called me awesome. “Sounds like a deal,” I manage to say.
    He sticks out his hand with an overly formal flourish, kidding around. “Shake on it?”
    I laugh and shake his hand. He holds it just a moment too long before he lets go.
    When Gadya returns the next day, we don’t even talk about what happened. But she works me harder than ever, and seems particularly gruff, so maybe she’s angry. I get the feeling Liam and Veidman gave her no choice in taking a day off. Soon, however, things go back to normal, and we continue to spend our time sparring and running drills.
    “You’re getting good,” Gadya says grudgingly near the end of our training. “Definitely better than most of the girls here—and even a few of the boys.”
    I nod, realizing this is probably the highest compliment she can pay me.
    Then she adds, “Just don’t get complacent. ’Cause the gray zone’s not gonna be a walk in the park.”
    “No kidding.” I shoulder my spear. “Thanks for teaching me.”
    She squints in my direction. “It was kind of fun, actually.”
    Despite my new skills, I still feel incredibly nervous about what’s going to happen to me. I’m trying not to think about all the awful things that might befall us on the journey.
    Fortunately, my mind gets distracted from my worries on the night before we leave. Liam stops by my hammock before dinner. He’s holding a small wooden crate.
    “What have you got there?” I ask.
    He opens the crate, revealing a small tureen, some apples, and a pair of bowls. I see a couple of unlit candles in there too. “Want to have dinner with me?”
    I smile. “Only if you don’t light those candles. We’re just friends, or have you forgotten already?”
    “I haven’t forgotten.” He picks up the candles and tosses them out of the crate.
    Then he leads me down to a nice part of the riverbank, where we sit on flat rocks next to each other as he dishes out the food.
    “How are you feeling about everything?” he asks, as we start eating.
    I’m not sure if he means about us or about the journey that lies ahead. So I just say, “Fine.”
    He takes a bite of stew. “It’ll be worth it to get off the wheel, just to have some real food again.”
    “Don’t let Rika hear you say that.”
    He puts down his bowl. “Hey, I got something for you. I mean, it’s no big deal. I hid it here earlier, as a surprise.” He rummages behind the rocks and finally pulls out an object.
    For a second, I think it’s a weapon. It’s just a long piece of wood with some nails at the top and metal wires running lengthwise down its surface.
    Then I realize what it is, and I laugh in amazement and delight. “Liam— How did you? It’s—” I bring my hands up to my face. I feel like I’m about to cry.
    “I remembered you said that you play music.” He hands the object to me, and I take it in my arms. “I made it late at night, when I was supposed to be sleeping.”
    I look down at the object in wonderment.
    It’s a homemade guitar.
    Primitive, but definitely functional. Liam has strung six metal wires at different intervals on the plank and nailed them down at the top and bottom to keep them taut.
    “You can spin the nails,” he explains. “I’ve wrapped the wires around them, so you can actually tune it. I know it’s crappy, and you deserve a lot better, but it’s the first guitar I’ve ever made.”
    “It’s not crappy,” I say, looking up at him. “It’s perfect. I can’t