The Trauma of Everyday Life

123, 199
personal continuity, 127, 137
Phillips, Adam, 198–99
phobias, 105–7, 111
Plath, Sylvia, 69
pleasure, 21, 115–16, 118, 119–20, 126–28
sensual and sensory, 107, 108, 116, 117, 118, 126–27
posttraumatic stress disorder, 150, 157
pot, aluminum, 31–32, 33
primitive agonies, 19–32, 66, 72, 138, 155, 165, 197, 198, 202, 206
Realistic View, 2–4, 204, 205, 206, 207
reflective/verbal knowing, 170
relatedness, 162–63, 165, 172
relational home, 196–211
relational knowing, 150, 169–70, 173–74, 178, 180–83, 185, 188, 190–91, 193, 194, 202, 203, 211
relaxation, in mindfulness, 89–90, 97
retreats, 90–96, 104–5, 129–34
Rilke, Rainer Maria, xiii, 106
Rolway Dorje, Jankya, 203–5
Safran, Jeremy, 176–77, 178
Salzberg, Sharon, 96–98, 107, 109
samsara, 37–38, 152
Schwartz, Harvey L., 67
self, 9, 15–16, 32, 45, 79, 89, 122–23, 132, 153, 194, 198–99, 208
aggregates of, 10
dissociation and, 64–84, 86, 122–23
engaged nature of, 165
internal cohesion and, 167
locating, 92, 95
no-self, 9, 11, 123, 127, 130–31, 133
self-absolutization, 95
self-awareness, 88, 147, 148, 150, 154
self-denial and self-hatred, 116, 118, 165, 169, 201
self-harm, 22
senses, 122, 125
sensual and sensory pleasures, 107, 108, 116, 117, 118, 126–27
sexual abuse, 199–200
sexuality, 102, 104, 106, 107, 111
shame, 111, 129, 201
Shantideva, 47
Shaw, Miranda, 189
shining, 32, 33
sight, 132–33
Simile of the Mountain, 180–81
skandhas
, 10
solitude, 55, 208
“Song of the View, The” (Rolway Dorje), 204
Splinter of Rock Discourse, 134–36, 138, 139, 143
spy consciousness, 28, 88
stability, 73
, 189
Stolorow, Robert, 24, 55–56, 148–49, 191, 200, 208
Styron, William, 14
suffering (
dukkha
), 5, 10, 12–13, 18, 22, 30, 36, 65, 79, 103, 160, 184, 193, 196, 198, 199, 203–5
suicide, 1, 30
Sujata, 118–19, 159
Suzuki, D. T., 4
Talmud, 93
Thurman, Robert, 95
Tibetan Buddhism, 21, 28, 68, 88, 129, 177, 193–94, 203
“tolerable,” world as, 21
transference, 147
trauma, 1–4, 11–18, 20, 21, 38–39
and absolutisms of daily life, 54–57
as basic fact of life, 196, 199, 201, 205
Buddha and, 35–37, 56–57, 65–66
derealization and, 124–25
developmental, 3–4, 23–26, 27, 43, 65, 72, 125, 135–36, 148, 149, 169, 197, 209
dissociation and, 64–84, 86, 148, 150
dreams and, 94
estrangement and solitude created by, 55
fires of, 35, 36
mantra and, 201–2
memory and, 148, 153
mindfulness and, 149, 198
posttraumatic stress disorder, 150, 157
relational home and, 196–211
time and, 148–49
unresolved, 147
Trauma and Human Existence
(Stolorow), 200
Turkle, Sherry, 117–18
unbearable embeddedness of being, 191
unconscious, 87, 121, 128, 129, 159, 162
unknown boundless presence/support, 171, 173, 177, 188, 202, 208
Upaka, 20–21, 22, 23, 33
verbal/reflective knowing, 170
war veteran, 174–76, 200–201
What’s Wrong, Little Pookie?
(Boynton), 23–24
Winnicott, D. W., 29–31, 43, 74–77, 109–12, 114, 116, 120, 125, 135, 136, 138–40, 142, 151–53, 155–58, 165, 178, 198, 202, 209–11
“The Tree,” 209–11
wisdom, 193, 194
Yasa, 100–107, 110, 111, 118, 123
yoga, 107–8
Yun Men, 207, 208, 209
Zen Buddhism, 8, 81, 207

* “Sakalika Sutta,” SN1.38 in the “Sa
m∙
yutta” (“The Connected Discourses of the Buddha”)