This Girl: A Novel

damage to my eye. He holds up a finger, so I take a few steps away from his door to give him some privacy.
    I’ve thought about this moment so many times before. The moment I would walk into Mr. Murphy’s office and resign. Of course, I always imagined the end result would be my walking out of his office and into Lake’s life.
    My fantasy is nothing like my current reality. Lake hates me right now and her feelings are warranted. I push her away every time she gets close to me, then every time she finally gets used to being without me, I do something to screw with her head even more. Why did I think performing that poem last night was a good idea? We were finally in a good spot. She was finally learning to balance all the negativity in her life, and I go and make it worse.
    Again.
    That’s all I do is make things worse for her. That’s probably the reason she turned to Javi. I’d like to think she was just kissing him to make me jealous, but my biggest fear is that she was kissing him because she’s completely moved on from me. It’s my biggest fear, yet it’s exactly what I know she needs.
    “Mr. Cooper,” Mr. Murphy says, walking past me. “Is this something that can wait until I get back? I’ve got an eight o’clock meeting.”
    “Uh,” I stammer. “Well, actually it’s pretty important.”
    He stops next to the wall of mailboxes and pulls the contents of his box out. “How important? So important it can’t wait until ten?”
    I shrug. “It can’t wait,” I say reluctantly. “I, um . . . sort of got in a fight last night. With a student.”
    Mr. Murphy stops sorting his mail and darts his head toward me. “Sort of? You did or you didn’t, Mr. Cooper. Which is it?”
    “Did,” I reply. “Definitely did.”
    He turns to face me full on and leans his back against the row of mailboxes behind him. “Who?”
    “Javier Cruz.”
    He shakes his head, then rubs the back of his neck while he thinks. “I’ll have Mrs. Alex set up an appointment with his father at ten. In the meantime, I suggest you find someone to fill in for you,” he says. “Be back here at ten.” He walks over to Mrs. Alex’s desk and writes something down. I nod, not at all surprised by his guarded reaction. I pick my satchel up and walk toward the office exit.
    “Mr. Cooper?” he calls out.
    “Yes, sir?”
    “Were there any other students involved? Anyone who can give an accurate account of what happened?”
    I sigh. I really don’t want to get her involved, but it doesn’t seem like I’m going to have a choice. “Yes. Layken Cohen,” I say.
    “Is this Javier’s girlfriend?” he asks, writing down Layken’s name.
    The question causes me to wince, but from the looks of them last night I’d say it’s a very legitimate question. “Yeah, I guess so.” I exit the office, hoping they don’t bring Lake and Javi in at ten. I don’t know if I can keep it together in the same room with both of them.
    •••
    I’M SEATED AT the table, waiting for the conference to begin. Luckily, Mr. Murphy met with Javier privately, not wanting us to have to interact. I’m supposed to meet with Mr. Murphy as soon as the conference with Javier’s father is over. I’m not really that eager to share my version of events, since I’m obviously the one in the wrong here. The fact that Mr. Murphy brought in a member of campus police doesn’t do anything to ease my apprehension. I’m not sure what the legal ramifications are of what occurred last night and if Javier is planning on pressing charges, but I guess I deserve whatever result my actions bring about.
    The door opens and Lake walks into the room. I literally have to force myself not to look at her. I can’t help the emotional reaction I have to her, and I’m afraid everyone in the room will see it. I keep my gaze focused on the table in front of me.
    “Ms. Cohen, please take a seat,” Mr. Murphy says. Lake takes a step forward and slides into the seat next to me. I clench my fists, fighting the tension between us that seems to have only increased since last night.
    “This is Mr. Cruz, Javier’s father,” says Mr. Murphy. “This is Officer Venturelli,” he says, motioning to both men. “I’m sure you know why you’re here. It is our understanding that there was an incident involving Mr. Cooper that occurred off of school grounds,” he says. “We would appreciate it if you could tell us your version of events.”
    I glance toward Lake just as she turns