Unseen Academicals

‘Well, er—’
    ‘And that’s because she’s been that girl in the papers.’
    ‘What, the shiny dwarf one? With a beard?’
    ‘That’s her!’ said Glenda. ‘She’s going to go off with the circus, well, you know what I mean. With the fashion show, at least.’
    ‘But she hasn’t got a beard,’ said Trev.
    Blushing, Juliet delved into her apron and to Glenda’s surprise produced the beard. ‘They let me keep it,’ she said, with a nervous giggle.
    ‘ Right ,’ said Glenda. ‘You say you love him. Trev, I don’t know whether you love her or not, time to make up your mind. You’re both grown up, well, strictly speaking, and so you better sort yourselves out, ’cos I don’t see any fairy godmothers around. As for Mister Nutt, he hasn’t got anyone .’
    ‘She’s gonna leave the city?’ said Trev, realization dawning slowly through a male mind.
    ‘Oh, yes. For quite a long time, I suspect,’ said Glenda.
    She watched his face carefully. You haven’t got much learning and you haven’t opened a book in your life, Trevor Likely, but you are smart and you must know there is a wrong way and a right way to reply to what I have just told you.
    She watched the high-speed changes around his eyes as he thought, and then he said, ‘Well, that’s nice. It’s the kind of thing she’s always dreamed of. I’m very happy for her.’
    You cunning bastard, you actually got it right, Glenda thought. You’re not appearing to be thinking about yourself at all, ’cos you know I’d have no time for you if you were. And who knows, you might just be genuine. In fact, heavens help me, I think you are, but I’d pull all my own teeth out rather than tell you.
    ‘She likes you, you like her and I’ve made a lot of silly mistakes. The two of you, sort out what you want to do. And now, if I were you I’d run, before anyone else beats you to it. And can I offer you a word of advice, Trev? Don’t be smart, be clever.’
    Trev took Glenda by the shoulders and kissed her on both cheeks. ‘Was that smart or clever?’
    ‘Get away with you, Trev Likely!’ she said, pushing him away, in the hope that he wouldn’t notice her blush. ‘And now I’m going to see where Mister Nutt has gone.’
    ‘I know where he’s gone,’ said Trev.
    ‘I thought I just told you two to go off and live happily ever after,’ said Glenda.
    ‘You won’t find ’im without me,’ said Trev. ‘I’m sorry, Glenda, but we like him too.’
    ‘Do you think we should tell somebody?’ said Juliet.
    ‘And what will they do?’ Glenda snapped. ‘It’ll just be like that lot back there. All hanging around in the hope that somebody will come up with an idea. Anyway,’ she added, ‘I’m sure the wizards upstairs know all about him. Oh yes, I bet they do.’
    She had to admit, ten minutes later, that Trev had been right. She probably wouldn’t have noticed the door on the other side of another cluttered, abandoned cellar. Light shone from under the door.
    ‘I followed ’im once,’ said Trev. ‘Everyone should have a place to call their own.’
    ‘Yes,’ said Glenda, and she pushed open the door. She might as well have opened an oven. There were candles of every size and every colour and many of them were burning.
    And in the middle of it was Nutt, sitting behind a ramshackle table, which was covered with candles. In front of him they burned in every colour. He was staring at them with a blank expression, and did not look up as they approached. ‘You know, I fear that I will never really get the hang of blue,’ he said, as if to the air. ‘Orange, of course, is ridiculously easy and red goes without saying and green is not difficult at all, but the best blue I could achieve, I have to admit, is very largely green…’ His voice trailed off.
    ‘Are you all right?’ said Glenda.
    ‘Do you mean, am I all right apart from being an orc?’ said Nutt, with a very small smile.
    ‘Well, yes, but that’s not really your fault.’
    ‘It can’t really be true, can it?’ said Trev.
    Glenda turned on him.
    ‘What good is it saying that?’ she said.
    ‘Well, they were supposed to have died out hundreds of years ago.’
    ‘Annihilated,’ said Nutt. ‘But some survived. I fear that when this oversight is revealed, there will be those who will endeavour to rectify the situation.’
    Trev looked blankly at Glenda. ‘He means he thinks they’re going to try to kill him,’ she said.
    Nutt stared at his candles. ‘I must