Worth More Dead

through albums or watch videos, it’s obviously true. Just as some people’s facial muscles tend to fall into a frown even when they’re not grumpy, Carolyn’s face naturally lent itself to smiling.
    She was a lovely blonde, and slender—when she wasn’t pregnant, as she often was after her marriage. She was five feet seven inches tall and usually weighed about 120 pounds. She dressed well, although she tended to spend more money on other people than on herself.
    Carolyn grew up in a great family as one of two children, herself and a brother. She was especially close to her mother, Leni, and talked to her every day.
    Carolyn met Bob Durall in the mid-eighties when they worked in a real-estate firm in Bellevue, Washington. She was very good at her job but had always looked forward to being married and having a family of her own. Bob seemed to have all the qualities she hoped for in a mate.
    Bob Durall was intelligent, a high achiever, a National Merit Scholar in high school; and he had two college degrees: a Bachelor of Arts in accounting from the University of Puget Sound and a Bachelor of Science in computer science from the University of Washington. He was attractive, if slightly built, at five feet ten and only 148 pounds. Bob wasn’t as outgoing as Carolyn was, and he had fewer close friends than she did, but that wasn’t a problem for her, not at first; their personalities complemented each other. He came from a family background as solid as hers; his parents were ten to fifteen years older than Carolyn’s, and he had a sister eight years older than he was, a warm and loving woman. His dad, Arnie, was fun and kind, and his mother, Bernice, very genteel and welcoming. She was a perfect lady, a little prim, but always friendly. Arnie was a salt-of-the-earth kind of man who didn’t put on airs. They liked Carolyn right away.
    The Duralls had lived in the south end of Seattle for almost fifty years and raised their children in the Mount Baker Presbyterian Church. Bob’s parents were in their forties when he came along on October 24, 1957, and they doted on him. He was a late baby much longed for. Everyone who knew them was happy for them.
    As he grew up, he did them proud. They didn’t really spoil Bob, but they certainly made him feel that he was a unique, extraordinary boy. Most of his parents’ friends recalled him as being gentle and dependable, a nice kid.
    When Carolyn met Bob, he was 25 and she was 21. He was confident and successful at his job, definitely a young man on his way up. Carolyn quickly fell in love with him, and she really liked his family. She was thrilled when Bob proposed. Together with their families, they planned their wedding. There was no question but that it would be in a church; they were both devout Christians. In 1986, they had a lovely formal ceremony in the Mount Baker church in Seattle, with a color scheme of white and beige. And then left for their honeymoon in Hawaii.
    Carolyn gave Bob a Bible and wrote in its dedication that he was “one of the nicest men I’ve ever met.”
    Bob’s mother took him aside during his wedding reception to give him advice that she didn’t really think he needed. Nevertheless, she reminded him that his father “always treated me like a queen.” She told him she hoped that he would cherish Carolyn in the same way and make her happiness his most important concern. Bob assured his mother that he would.
    Bob’s mother was delighted that he had chosen Carolyn; she was exactly the kind of young woman any woman would want for a daughter-in-law. Carolyn was nice to Bernice and Arnie, and it was obvious how much in love she was with Bob. Her parents approved of Bob, too. Bob and Carolyn were young, but they were responsible.
     
    To Carolyn’s shock, their honeymoon wasn’t particularly happy. They argued a lot, and she realized that he was a man who was used to having things just the way he wanted. Even that far back, she had the feeling that she should not have married him. She tried to put their differences down to the natural difficulties any two people would have adjusting to living full time with each other. She was sure she could learn to do things the way Bob liked and that he would compromise about what mattered to her. But as they settled into marriage, it became clear that Bob was going to be the head of the household, and Carolyn deferred to him when it came to making decisions.
    It was important to them to have a family. And,