You Suck: A Love Story

on his lap who was coloring a picture of a pony. Another little girl, who looked about the same age, was coloring on the floor at his feet.
    “Hi,” Tommy said.
    “You must be the vampire Flood,” Jared’s dad said, with a bit of a knowing smile.
    “Uh. Well. Kinda.” It showed. He could no longer hide among the humans. It must be because it had been so long since he had fed.
    “Sort of a weak ensemble, don’t you think?” Jared’s dad said.
    “Weak,” repeated the little girl without looking up from her pony.
    “Huh?” Tommy inquired.
    “For a vampire. Jeans, sneakers, and flannel?”
    Tommy looked at his clothes. “Black jeans,” he pointed out. Shouldn’t this guy be cowering in fear, maybe begging Tommy not to put his little daughter in a sack for his vampire brides? “Okay, I suppose times change. You know that Jared and his girlfriend went up to Tulley’s on Market to meet Abby, right?”
    “His girlfriend, Jody?”
    “Right,” said Dad. “Cute girl. Not as many piercings as I expected, but we’re just happy she’s a girl.”
    An attractive blond woman in her late twenties came into the room carrying a tray with carrot and celery sticks on it. “Oh, hi,” she said, dazzling a smile at Tommy. “You must be the vampire Flood. Hi, I’m Emily. Would you like some crudites? You’re welcome to stay for dinner. We’re having mac and cheese, it was the girls’ night to pick.”
    I should drink her blood and put her kids in a sack, Tommy thought. But his vicious predator nature was overcome by his Midwestern upbringing, so instead he said, “Thank you very much, Emily, but I really should be going if I’m going to catch up to Jared and Jody.”
    “Well, okay then,” said the woman. “Girls, say good-bye to the vampire Flood.”
    “Good-bye, the vampire Flood,” the girls sang in chorus.
    “Uh, bye.” Tommy bolted out of the room, then back in again. “Where’s the door?”
    Everyone pointed through the kitchen, whence Jared’s stepmonster had just come.
    He ran through the kitchen and out the door, then stood with his back against the minivan in the drive, trying to catch his breath. “That was fucked up,” he gasped, then realized that he wasn’t out of breath from exertion at all. He was having an anxiety attack. “That was really, really fucked up.”

28 – Wallflowers of the Night
    It was a lot like trying to get your courage up to ask a girl to dance, except that in this case it wasn’t so much the fear of rejection, or that you’d be awkward and embarrass yourself, although that was a consideration, but that whoever you picked was going to be reduced to dust, which was somewhat more significant than trampling her toes.
    Tommy stood onCastro Street looking for his next victim. His first victim, really. He was tired of being the apprentice. If Jody was going to just leave him in the basement because he wasn’t vampire enough for her, then maybe he’d have to become like her. Maybe he’d learn about this predator nature she talked about. Maybe, like that guy in the basement in The Phantom of the Opera, he would have to hear “The Music of the Night.” He wasn’t sure what had happened to the basement guy. He’d gone to see the movie with a girl from his high school, but had to leave halfway through to keep from taking his own life.
    It hadn’t been a good date.
    There were plenty of people out on the street, even at this hour, but none of them screamed victim.
    There were no women in low-cut dresses who had just turned an ankle. There were no girls in negligees running down the street, glancing back over their shoulders. There were, in fact, not many girls at all. Lots of guys. Lots.
    He reckoned that it wasn’t really necessary that he pick a woman. After all, he’d fed off of William and Chet, both of whom were male, but this was different. This was really becoming the hunter, and despite his hunger, there was no little bit of revenge in his decision to bite someone. So it had to be a girl. He had to get back at Jody for ditching him at Jared’s. He had to show her that she wasn’t the only vein in the circulatory system. Or what ever.
    The few women he saw were so healthy, with big bright pink life auras around them, and weren’t alone either. He had to get someone alone.
    Frustrated, he backed down the alley and started pacing back and forth. After a short time he took a run at the wall, ran up ten feet or so, then turned and ran back across the