Coda 02 -A to Z

yet?” “No.”
“Good thing all your shirts have collars.”
I laughed. “Good thing you’re not taller.”
He pushed me off his lap onto the floor, but he was laughing.
    I CAME home the next afternoon to find the light on my answering machine blinking. I hit play and then dropped my keys on the floor as a familiar voice, low and sexy, came out of the speaker.
    “Hey, baby. How’s life in the sticks? I wanted to let you know that I’ve had a change of heart. I want you to come back. I’ll let you have the same location for the price you were paying before. Just give me a call. No strings, Zach. I promise.”
    The machine clicked off, and I stood for a minute in stunned silence, thinking about what Tom had said.
    I could go back.
Back to my old store. My old apartment. My old life. Sure, I could go back. But why the hell would I want to?
    It was so absurd that I laughed out loud. I realized how miserable I had been back then. My life had been stagnant. I had been completely alone. Completely directionless. I had known the store was failing, and I hadn’t cared. And yet, at the same time, I had felt like I had no other options in the world.
    In some ways nothing had changed. Even now having just opened the store, I knew it wouldn’t last forever. I knew we only had a few years here in Coda—maybe as few as three, maybe as many as ten. Probably not more than that. What was different was that the thought didn’t bother me. I didn’t necessarily know what I would do next, but I didn’t need to know.
    What I did know was this: I had Angelo. We could go anywhere. We could do anything.
    Back then I felt like a man in a life raft, waiting for the next storm to finish me off. I realized that hadn’t ever happened; in the end I had been rescued.
    Angelo walked in at that moment. “Hey, Zach. You want—” I was still laughing, and he stopped short and grinned at me. “What’s up with you?”
    I grabbed him and held him tight against me. “I love you,” I said into his short, spiky hair.

    He laughed nervously, obviously confused by the fact that I was acting like a nutcase. “Okay.”

    I pulled back and looked down into his eyes. “Where should we go, Ang?”

    He was still grinning at me in that lopsided way. “What are you talkin’ ’bout, Zach?”

    “Where would you like to go? Anywhere in the world.” His smile didn’t change, but his eyes grew more thoughtful. “You talkin’ bout to live or for vacation?”
    “I don’t know. Either one, I guess.”
His smile was gone now. “You serious?”
“Absolutely. Just name a place.”
    He hesitated for just a moment and then said quietly, “Want to see the ocean.”
    His simple answer surprised me. I had been expecting Paris or New York or maybe Rome. But it wasn’t a city at all. “You’ve never seen the ocean?”
    He shook his head at me.
    The ocean. For somebody who has lived their whole life inland, it can be an amazing thing. I could still remember the first time I saw it, when I was twelve years old. I could remember how small it made me feel. I could remember the sheer beauty of it and the surprise. How it seemed to go forever. The awe that it held life. The wonder at its strength. Even as young as I had been, it had felt like a life-changing moment for me.
    I could give that to him.

    “I’ll take you there, Ang. Where do you want to go? California? Florida?”
    His cheeks were red, but he didn’t look away. “Oregon.” “Okay.” What the hell was in Oregon? “Why?”
    His blush got deeper, but he didn’t hesitate. “Had a foster mom once. Used to talk ’bout goin’ to see her family in Oregon. They’d go out and catch fresh crab. Said you can bring them in and cook them in big pots right on the dock.” He smiled at me, just a little. “Always wanted to sit on the dock too. Cold beer and fresh crab and the ocean.” His eyes closed for a minute, and I knew he was embarrassed, but then he looked back up at me. “Sounds stupid, doesn’t it?”
    “No.” I held him tight against me and felt his arms go around my waist. “It’s not stupid. We’ll go in the spring, Ang. I promise.” “Why?” he asked, and I could tell by his voice that he was smiling again.

    All I could do was shrug. “Because we can.”
    O PENING night at the theater finally arrived. Of course I let Angelo pick the movies. We opened the day before Thanksgiving. Wednesday was all dedicated to the teenagers, since they didn’t have school that