Coda 02 -A to Z

Tom actually let go of me and stepped behind me, like I might protect him. Luckily Jared was in front of Angelo. He saw what was about to happen and grabbed him. Still, it was immediately obvious that he wouldn’t be able to hold him. Before I could get across the room to them, Matt walked in the door, and I’m sure to him it looked like Angelo and Jared had suddenly and inexplicably broken into a fistfight.
    Matt grabbed Angelo from behind, wrapping his big arms around him so that Angelo’s arms were pinned to his side. And if I thought Angelo had been wild before, it was nothing compared to the rage that gripped him then. He was screaming at Matt. “Let go of me right now, Matt! I’m gonna kill that motherfucker! He can’t come into my house!” Matt obviously had underestimated how strong Angelo really was, because Angelo broke partway out of his grip. Jared was still trying to help Matt hold him, and for a minute it seemed like all I could see was fists and elbows and hair. Matt finally managed to get Angelo wrapped up in some kind of neck lock, and he turned and pinned Angelo with his face against the wall. Matt’s lip was bleeding. Jared was next to them, bent over, one hand on his knees and the other on his groin, gasping for air. Every single guy in the world knows what that means and winces in sympathy when he sees it.
    “Angelo, goddamn it, knock it off!” Matt growled.
    Angelo wasn’t fighting anymore, but I could tell that every muscle in his body was tense. He was still poised to break free as soon as Matt loosened his grip. “Let go, Matt. I’m gonna kick his fuckin’ ass for darin’ to walk in my house.”
    Matt sighed in exasperation and said in a low voice, “ Think , Angelo! I’m a cop. If you assault him, I have to arrest you, take you in, and sit there filling out paperwork while he presses charges against you. You’re my friend, Ang. Please don’t put me in that position.”
    Angelo thought about it for a second, and then I saw some of the tension go out of him. He said quietly, “Let me go.”
    “Are you going to be cool?”
“Yeah, man. Just let me go.”
    As soon as Matt’s grip loosened, Angelo broke free. He turned and shoved Matt away from him hard enough that Matt stumbled backward a step. Then he stalked into the spare bedroom, slamming the door behind him. A second later we all heard the unmistakable sound of something shattering against a wall.
    Good thing I didn’t spend much on that lamp.

…Angelo
C AN ’ T even say how much I wanted to kill that asshole, seein’ him
    standin’ there. Felt like Coda was our sanctuary. Nothin’ bad could touch us here. Then I walk in the door and see Tom. In my house. Touchin’ Zach.
    Always heard that expression, seein’ red. Never knew what it meant ’til today. Don’t actually remember much before Matt got me against the wall. Just rage. Didn’t really want to hide in the spare bedroom, either, but knew I couldn’t stay out there. With him. So I hid after all. Broke Zach’s lamp too. Hope he’s not mad.
    Can’t believe Tom came all this way for Zach. ’Cause I know that’s why he’s here—to try and get him back. Never cared ’bout him outside of gettin’ laid, yet now he’s come all the way here to see him. Wastin’ his time. I trust Zach. I know he wouldn’t ever be with Tom again, even if it weren’t for me. But Tom can’t be here. This is our house. Ours. Mine and Zach’s.
    Except….
Except that….
It’s not.
    And that thought hits me so hard, I have to sit down. Actually get tears in my eyes.

    It’s not my house.
    So fuckin’ stupid how much it hurts when I realize that. It’s Zach’s house. And if Zach wanted Tom here, wasn’t really much I could say ’bout it. ’Course I know Zach don’t want him here any more than I do. Not the point. Point is, Zach’s been tryin’ so hard to get me to think of this as my home. And the whole time, I been lettin’ that stupid bird in my chest rule my life. Been hurtin’ the one person in the whole world I never want to hurt, just ’cause I’m scared. I hate myself for it.
    Zach’s been so patient. Tryin’ to wait me out. Tryin’ to tempt me inside. Like I’m a stray cat that comes ’round, and he just keeps puttin’ out milk, hopin’ one of these nights I’ll decide to come in. Or maybe I really am a bird, like Zach always says. He’s tossin’ out breadcrumbs, leavin’ a trail up to his door. And I been too fuckin’ stupid to just