Coda 02 -A to Z

walk through. Thought all this time it was some kind of trap. Guess it is. It has another name, too, though.
    Home.
    My whole life Zach’s the first person who really wanted me. I don’t mean sex. Plenty of people have wanted me for that. But Zach’s the first person who ever just wanted me around. Wanted me at the store, wanted to spend time with me after work, and wanted me to come to Coda with him. Now he wants to give me a real home. Never had one ’til now.
    That’s why I love him so much.
    All this time I been thinkin’ ’bout the kinds of love I see— Jared’s contented love, Matt’s amazed love, and Zach’s reverent love. I thought my love had to be one of those. I see now I have my own love. My love is belongin’. ’Cause before Zach I never had a place I belonged at all. Now I know. I belong with him.
    It’s as simple as that.

Zach…
    E VERYTHING was quiet for just a second after Angelo left.
    Matt was wiping the blood off of his face with his T-shirt. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered, shaking his head. “Crazy little bastard.” I couldn’t tell if he was impressed or annoyed. He looked over at Jared, who was still bent over but was at least breathing normally again. “You okay?” Jared nodded but still didn’t try to stand up.
    Behind me Tom laughed derisively. We all looked over at him. He was looking at me. “Zach, come on now. I understand wanting to slum sometimes, but seriously, is that the best you could do?”
    Hatred welled up in me, and I saw it mirrored in the looks that Matt and Jared were giving him. “Get out!”

    “Come on, baby. This is ridiculous. Are you telling me you would rather play house with your little gangbanger than—” I didn’t wait to hear the rest of the sentence. I didn’t need to. “ Yes! ”

    His smile actually faltered, started to disappear.
    “Yes, I would rather play house with Angelo than be your goddamn fuck buddy. There is nothing—absolutely nothing —that could change that. I don’t know how I ever stood to let you touch me. Now get the fuck out! ” I didn’t wait to see what his reaction would be. I had to see Angelo. I turned to Matt. “If he’s not gone in two minutes, arrest him.”
    Matt smiled at me. No matter how badly Angelo had behaved, I knew Matt loved him like a brother. “My pleasure.”
    I walked through the door into the spare bedroom, and immediately, Angelo was in my arms. He slammed into me so hard that I might have fallen over backward if the wall hadn’t been there to hold me up. His face was buried in my neck, and his arms were tight around me.
    “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
    “Don’t apologize to me. I’m not mad about anything. You might want to apologize to Matt and Jared, though. Matt’s bleeding, and you kicked Jared in the nads.”
    He made a sound that might have been laughter or might have been a sob. Then, “Broke your lamp.”
    “I bought it at a yard sale. No big deal.”
“Just made me so fuckin’ mad, seein’ him here.”
    I laughed. “Really? I never would have guessed.” But he didn’t laugh.
    “The stupid thing is, I kept thinkin’ how I wanted to kill him for bein’ in my house. But then I realized….” His voice died out, and I felt him shaking, and I knew then that he was crying and not even trying to hide it from me. “It’s not my house, is it, Zach? I’m so fuckin’ stupid, because I felt like it was. I thought it was. But it’s not my house at all. It’s your house.”
    Nothing could have surprised me more than that. It hadn’t even occurred to me. I felt like Angelo had plenty of reason to be pissed about Tom being there, regardless of whose house it was, technically.
    Then, in just a whisper, he said, “Feels like home to me.” All I could do was hold him tighter. “It can be, Ang, whenever you want it to be.”

    He was still hanging on to me. I knew it felt safer for him, right now, to not have to face me, so I just held him and waited. And then, finally, “I want it to be.” He wasn’t crying anymore. His voice was quiet but firm and confident.
    I resisted the urge to shout with joy. I told myself not to get my hopes up. It felt a little bit wrong to let him make this decision right now. “Are you sure? Nothing in the world would make me happier, but I don’t want you to do anything you’re not ready for.”
    He took a deep breath and said, “I’m ready. I think I belong here, Zach. I belong with you.”
    He moved in a few days later. This