Days of Love and Blood

times would always be resurrected by some memory or mention of a familiar name. And each accidental thought of that time immediately led to the thought of the other. The thing I didn’t want to think about. If I could only keep it a secret from myself, the way I so easily did from others, my life would feel a lot less scarred.

    We didn’t say much after. We didn’t need to. We laid next to each other for hours and said what we needed to say wordlessly through touch. We gave tenderness as we held each other. We expressed love in the way we kissed and understanding in the way we lightly caressed the other with our fingertips. We helped each other through pain when we held on tight for just a moment or two, and squeezed, until the nightmare passed and the shudder was over. We did this for hours after making love, until we heard Cassie pull up.
    “Thank you,” I said as we quickly got dressed.
    “You make it sound like it was a favor.”
    “That’s not what I meant.” I opened the door but Cooper leaned in and closed it shut with one arm high on the door. He hovered over me as if he was about to kiss me one last time, but stopped an inch from my cheek.
    “I don’t wanna share you.” Aggressiveness peered out from behind his eyes.
    “I never suggested that you would.”
    “I’m jus’ sayin’ that I get it. I know we’re not a couple. We never could be. At least, not in any sense of the word. But I still don’t wanna share you. With anyone.”
    I shook my head and lifted my hand to his face.
    “It’s only you,” I reminded him. “You don’t have to worry. I don’t want you to worry. I don’t want to be another concern for you - another problem.”
    “You’re a bit more than a concern.” He bit his lip and turned away from me, lightly tapping a clenched fist against the door. “Ben was here earlier. He’s not gonna stop.”
    “I don’t think he’ll be trying anymor e.” That didn’t seem to soothe Cooper enough. “I’ll tell him.” He snapped his face at me and looked me up and down. He sighed once and then nodded, pushing himself away from the door so I could open it.
    Cassie and Ronan walked into the foyer just as we were walking out of the bedroom. I quickly closed the door behind me to hide the disheveled sheets but our appearances were probably just as shabby. Cassie smirked once and slipped into the kitchen. There was no point in trying to keep this a secret.
    For a brief moment I wondered how we would handle this in public. I wondered if he would let his touch linger on me for a bit too long when I was at Ivy’s, or if he would gently kiss my cheek as I left. But that would make our relationship too close, too formal. Everyone would find out, of course. You can’t hide anything from a group that small. But keeping it low-key was best. If we made it a public affair, it would turn it into something else, something controlled by our own community. We would be labeled. Neither of us wanted that. At least, I didn’t think Cooper did. My house would be our safe zone. We could keep matters private there.
    Standing on the front porch, I lightly pulled his arm. “I don’t mind if you come over here, Cooper, whenever you want. I wouldn’t even mind it if you stayed here. You don’t have to stay with me, in my room, you could have the guest room. It might be better than staying in the tent. But, I wouldn’t mind if you stayed in my room either.” I smiled playfully at my last hint.
    Cooper relaxed and held back a smile while his lips curled at the edges. I showed him where the outside key was hidden in case my door was locked, which it always was, and he left without another word. Cassie was waiting for me at the kitchen table when I went back inside.
    “Get some clothes?” I asked right away.
    “Yup. Johnson found something interesting.”
    “Oh yeah? What’s that?”
    “In one of the houses he raided yesterday he found a flyer taped to the refrigerator and it caught his attention. It was a flyer for a prepper store.”
    “A what?”
    “A prepper store. A store that sells giant tubs of all kinds of food with ten to twenty-year shelf lives, in case of an apocalypse or economic breakdown or something like that.”
    “Was there an address?”
    “Yup. Pretty far away in Roanoke.”
    “Virginia,” I said.
    “Brigham thinks it’s a bad idea but Solomon wants you to call him on the two-way.”
    “Is he thinking about sending a party?”
    “Present company