Days of Love and Blood

try me out sometime. I’m a good listener.”
    I knew he was trying to be kind but his words fell on deaf ears. They were muffled by Jayde’s voice. He doesn’t care about you.
    “Thanks. I have to go.” My smile from only moments ago was replaced with a morbid frown. Ben looked awkwardly at me and put his hands in his pockets. I turned and jumped into the camper, eager to get home. I needed to have a few minutes to myself. More like several hours and a few bottles of wine.
    As I started down the driveway, Cassie made her way up to the captain’s chair and took a seat next to me, mumbling something inaudible. She stretched her arms backwards and cracked her neck. From my peripheral vision, I saw her look at me, probably when she realized I wasn’t speaking. I didn’t bother to cover up my tears. I didn’t even know why I was so upset.
    “You okay?”
    “Nothing a good drunken stupor can’t fix.”
    “I hear that,” sh e agreed. “I always miss shit when I take a nap.”
    “You didn’t miss much.”
    “Evidently.”
    A few minutes later I was pulling into my own driveway and my heart thumped when I saw his truck. I calmly put the car into park and s at back in my seat, staring at the man who leaned against the truck, smoking a cigarette and looking straight at me. I wondered if he could see my face through the tinted glass. Cassie looked from Cooper to me and back at him again.
    The three of us stepped from the R .V. and Ronan ran to Cooper. Ronan tried to pull his hand but Cooper held his ground.
    “Hold on a sec’ , kid,” he said softly.
    A strange silence separated the three of us, broken only by Ronan’s playful banter. Cooper said nothing. He stood there as if he was waiting for someone to say something of importance. I didn’t know what to say.
    Cassie watched me intently for a few seconds longer. “You know,” she finally said. “I left something at Ivy’s house. Completely forgot.”
    “What?” I asked.
    “She had a few boxes of clothes for me. I kind of wanted to go through them. I could really use some new clothes. I thought I was going to have time but then I fell asleep. I’ve been so tired lately.”
    “You should eat more,” I said. Innocuous comments to break the tension were my specialty.
    “I think I’ll take your other car over there, if that’s alright. Why don’t I take Ronan? He can spend the rest of the day with his friends?” Ronan seemed to like this idea and I nodded my head. Five minutes later they were both gone.
    “Can we talk?” Cooper asked. He looked defensive with his head hanging low and his arms folded across his chest.
    “ Help me bring the baskets inside?”
    It was only one trip between the two of us. You can only pick so many baskets of tiny berries. We stood in the kitchen together at opposite ends.
    “What’s wrong?” he finally asked.
    “Nothing. Just someone - just a bad day.” He grunted and only bobbed his head, flicking glances at me from his downturned face as he leaned against the table with his hand. His mouth was slightly open as if he was trying to formulate something to say. I wondered what was going through his head and why he was there. “Want a drink?”
    “Sure.”
    I pulled a bottle of scotch down from the cabinet behind me along with two crystal cocktail glasses. I poured each one halfway full and turned around to walk his over, but he was already there and I almost dropped the glass when I bumped into him.
    “It’s not true, ya know,” he said as he took the glass from my hands, swilling half of it in one gulp. He wouldn’t look me in the eye although he stood inches from me.
    “What’s not?”
    “What she said. It’s not true. I do care about you.”
    I felt my stomach hit the floor and held onto the counter to steady myself.
    “You were there? You heard?”
    “I have issues, Carson. Ya know that.”
    “How much did you hear?”
    “All of it,” Cooper sighed. I took a deep breath and downed my drink. “Don’t be mad. I wasn’t spying. I was jus’ there. Takin’ a leak. I thought ya knew I was there. I heard my name, so naturally I stood still and listened. You would’ve, too.”
    “I’m sorry. Jayde - that bitch…”
    “She is a bitch. And it’s not true what she said. I do care about you. I care about you and Ronan, and most of the fucking people on this farm, way more than I care about myself. She doesn’t know a goddamn thing ‘bout me. But I know ‘bout her.”
    “What do you