Fear of Falling

only to steal it with the ugly truth. I hated her, and for a while, I hated the thought of fatherhood.
    But that was then. Now… now I had a reason to want that feeling back.
    “Yeah, one day. A whole basketball team of ‘em.”
    “Oh God!” she laughed. “Little tattooed, pierced baby Blaines, wreaking havoc on the poor citizens of Charlotte!”
    Her smile was infectious, wiping away the foul taste of painful memories. All I could see was Kami. She made everything better. She made me want to be better.
    “Living up to the stereotype again? Southern guy with a pick up truck full of wild kids?” I asked, nudging her with my arm.
    “Oh, God, yes! I wouldn’t be surprised if you already had their names picked out. Let me guess: Cash, Cage, Gage…”
    “Nah. I don’t. But you’re right about one thing.”
    Kami turned to me and narrowed her eyes with question, but didn’t say a word.
    “We are products of our pasts.”
    Kami inched closer. “Elaborate.”
    I nodded, diverting my eyes to the blue, cloudless sky. “After my mom passed, I was out of control. It was hard enough to be 13 with raging hormones and the bullshit of peer pressure. Losing her sent me into a really dark place. I was angry all the time. I didn’t listen to anyone, I didn’t care about anything. The fights, the mood swings… no one knew how to reach me. So, they ran some tests to see if I could be suffering from the same thing that killed my mom. To see if I had schizophrenia too.”
    A beat passed before Kami released a slow breath. “And?”
    I turned and smiled before pressing her to my side. “Only crazy as hell over you.”
    Her body relaxed in my arms, giving me the opportunity to pin her body with mine. My tongue darted out and sampled her bottom lip, tasting her strawberry lipgloss and the delectable flavor that was uniquely Kami. I couldn’t help myself. I needed all of her. I was addicted to this woman, and I needed a fix badly.
    “Ummm, I think we have an audience,” she murmured against my lips.
    I turned my head to spy the group of kids snickering at us and pointing. I smiled and winked at them before planting a quick peck on Kami’s lips and sitting up. The girls giggled and blushed while the boys made gagging gestures.
    “Ready to change?” I asked, swiping the light sheen of sweat on my brow. It was warm out, and feeling Kami’s body under mine had taken the temperature up a few notches.
    “Change?” She looked down at her denim shorts and tank top. “Into what?”
    I fished out the gift bag I had stowed with the supplies for our picnic and handed it to her. Kami took the pink and white striped bag and raised a brow. “Victoria’s Secret? A little presumptuous, aren’t we, Mr. Jacobs?”
    “Just open it, Pervy Pervison . It’s not what you think. Besides, lingerie is overrated. Just an unnecessary obstacle keeping me from what I really want,” I replied, waggling my eyebrows playfully.
    She rolled her eyes before tearing into the bag, pulling out a teal, jeweled bikini.
    “The sales girl helped me pick it out, so if you don’t like it, blame her,” I shrugged, when she didn’t say anything.
    “No. I love it. It’s beautiful, Blaine. Thank you.” She rewarded my shopping efforts with a soft kiss. “But how’d you know my size?” she asked checking the tag.
    “Kami, I’m pretty sure I have seen every inch of you naked. And that’s not an image I could ever forget easily. The taste of your lips, your scent, the silkiness of your skin, the little sounds you make when you come…” I tapped my forehead with a single finger. “All committed to memory. Detailed memory.”
    She blushed bright red before slapping my arm. “Creeper.”
    “Only a semi-creeper where you’re concerned.”
    Kami fingered the soft fabric nervously before meeting my gaze. “I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I can get in, Blaine. You shouldn’t waste this on me.”
    I shook my head. “Nothing is wasted on you, Kam. And you don’t have to get in if you don’t want to. Just put it on and see how you feel, ok? We’ll take this slow. Together.”
    “Ok,” she nodded. “I’ll try.”
    I knew Kami was gorgeous, but seeing her in that bikini had me wanting to say “Fuck the lake,” so I could drag her back to the car and rip it off her with my teeth. Luckily, I had changed into my board shorts after cleaning up and could somewhat hide my enthusiasm under the looser fabric. Down boy!
    “Well, you