Fear of Falling

damn and like the saying goes, turn about is fair play.”
    Blaine’s inked fingers stroked the length of my jaw, and I reflexively nuzzled into the touch. “I don’t want you holding onto the memory of what happened last time. I know it’ll hurt you every time you hear him sing. So, let me help you create a new memory, ok?”
    As if on cue, Taylor began his song, capturing my attention with the haunting sounds of his guitar. His voice was as sweet and melodic as I remembered, but even more so now that they were laced with the tender words that Blaine had deliberately wanted me to hear. The words that had my eyes misting with happy tears, something I had never understood until that very moment.
    Blaine moved behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, giving me full view of the stage as Taylor belted out words steeped in promise, hope, and security.
    And love.
    There was pure, concentrated love in the lyrics that fell from Taylor’s lips. And though Blaine may not have been singing them, I heard them echoing loud and clear from his soul.
    “I will never let you fall…”
    The words could not have meant more than if Blaine had sung them himself. He didn’t need to. I felt it. I felt him. Every last bit of the scary-beautiful man that was Blaine Jacobs. The emotion behind every note and chord awoke things inside me that I never knew existed. Beauty bloomed inside my sheltered heart with each harmonious seed the music planted.
    Just as Taylor was finishing the second chorus, the girls of A.D. joined in with their own instruments, rocking him into the dramatic climax. The crowd cheered, pumping their fists in the air while Blaine slowly swayed me side to side, his face buried in my neck. Tears ran down my cheeks without shame, yet I was too captivated to bother wiping them away. I wore them like a badge of honor, wanting to hang onto the feeling of bliss for as long as possible.
    “That was… Wow,” I whispered, after the crowd had erupted into a standing ovation. I turned to Blaine with watery eyes and smiled. “Thank you. So much. Thank you.”
    Blaine wiped my wet cheeks, his warm brown eyes heating me from the inside out. “I’m glad you liked it. And I hope you realize that I mean it… I mean it, Kami. Don’t be afraid of me. I could never hurt you.”
    I believed him. Within my fractured, tattered soul, I knew it was ok to fall for Blaine. He would catch me; he always had. So I looked into those deep, chocolate eyes and surrendered the fear I carried around with me like a coat of armor, protecting the secrets that had been festering inside. I was afraid to love Blaine—dreadfully so. But I knew, undoubtedly, that he was the only one worth the risk.

“Are we almost there?”
    I looked over at Kami seated in the passenger seat of my truck and shook my head, giving her bare knee a squeeze. “Patience, baby.”
    “Ugh, I don’t like surprises. The anticipation is killing me,” she whined, as she watched the trees zipping by. “I would have just let you blindfold me like you wanted to, if I wasn’t such a freak.”
    I gently pulled her face back towards me, giving her a quick, pointed glare before returning my eyes to the road. “Hey, you are not a freak. Don’t say shit like that about yourself.”
    Kami shrugged dismissively. “It’s true. Know any other grown-ass women that are afraid of the dark?”
    “No, I don’t. But that’s just a tiny part of you. A small, insignificant detail. It doesn’t define who you are.”
    “Now you sound like Dom.”
    “Well, then…if two totally normal, sound men see you for the amazing, beautiful woman that you are, then it must be true,” I smiled.
    “Hmph. Only one of you is actually normal…” she murmured under her breath.
    “Huh?”
    Kami shook her head before reaching for the knobs of the radio. “Nothing.”
    “You ok, babe?”
    Since I picked her up at her apartment, Kami had been noticeably preoccupied. A bit distant, and moody even. We had spent the entire weekend together, both at the bar and at my place, completely wrapped up in each other. But an imaginary switch had been flipped overnight; something was wrong.
    “Yeah,” she answered, but shook her head in contradiction. “I don’t know.”
    “Kam,” I said, pulling her hand out of the knot of her fingers in her lap. “You know you can talk to me. There’s nothing you can say that will make me feel differently about you. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
    Kami