Ghost Time

asked, watching me sit down on the couch, dropping my book bag. It was heavy, and I’d run the whole way. Same. As always, I said, starting to smile, and then feeling it clipped, remembering, thinking, Same, as always, only a million times worse without Cam. I’m sorry , she said, and only then did I realize she must know everything, maybe more than I do. Does he talk about it? Your dad? I asked, suddenly paranoid they were talking about me, about us. And she goes, No, it’s nothing like that. But I heard him tell my mom that a boy from town was missing—Dad doesn’t talk about work, don’t worry. I go, It’s fine. Really, the whole world knows, why shouldn’t she?
    What’s in your bag? she asked, changing the subject. Books, I said. That’s all homework? she asked. Most of them, I said. I have one from the library, but I haven’t started it. I haven’t been able to read. Like I start reading a line, and my eyes move, butthen, two pages in, I realize I don’t remember a word, I said, pulling the book out. Thea , she said, sounding so shy: Can I ask you something? A favor? Sure, I said, really curious what that could be. Would you read to me? she said, and I was so surprised, I said, You want me to read to you? That’s the favor? Yes , she said. Course, I said. Of course I’ll read to you. But I only have this with me now, I said, showing her my library book. You want me to read this? I asked, and she inhaled. Will you? Just a few pages? she asked, so excited. All right, I said, smiling. I’d never read to anybody, really. Well, Cam, but he didn’t count—in a good way, I mean. So I turned her around, pushed her over to the couch, and took a seat. Then I opened the book, and I tried to do it all proper, reading the title, saying, Chapter One, and then I read to her.
    We read almost forty pages before my throat got sore, and then we decided to watch TV for a while, but there was nothing on. So I pulled out my sketchbook, and I showed her some of my drawings, and then Knox got home. Early, like nine, even. What have you two been up to? he asked, and I told him. I read to her, I said, standing, reaching for my bag. That’s nice, he said, smiling. What did you read? The Lovely Bones , I said, showing him the book, before I put it back in my bag. Ah , he said, like he knew it. And then he said, What’s it about? I said, It’s about a fourteen-year-old girl who’s raped and killed by her next-door neighbor, then her ghost returns to help her dad find her killer. But we haven’t gotten that far yet, I said, zipping up my bag, standing up from the couch, throwing it over my shoulder. He just stood there, looking at me.
    I like it , Melody said. Yeah, I don’t know, I said, because I was reading, and when I’m reading, I’m thinking about saying the words, reading it right, so I’m not sure. Then Knox goes, Thea, can I speak to you for a sec? I go, Sure, looking at him, waiting. And he goes, In the other room? Mel goes, What’s the problem? So I told him, I said, Knox, Melody wants to know what the problem is? No problem, baby, he said, looking at her, like he’d heard her, then realizing he hadn’t. Then say it , she said, and I go, She said to say it, and Knox exhaled through his nose. It’s just, don’t you think that’s a little morbid? he said, and I go, Look, I didn’t write it, Knox. And she asked me to read it to her, I said, shrugging.
    Tell him I like it , she said. She said she likes it, I said. Listen, Knox said, I really appreciate you helping me out, but I don’t think it’s appropriate, all right? Have you read it? I asked. Exactly , she said. No, and I don’t need to, he said. So what’s appropriate in your opinion? Melody asked, and I told him, She asked what you think is appropriate? And Knox goes, I don’t know, something, something happy and positive? I was like, Happy and positive? I said, Obviously you’ve never been a fifteen-year-old girl, Detective, and Knox goes, Obviously not. I go, You don’t get the reference, do you? And Melody goes, I don’t get it either , and I go, What? I turned to her and I go: You’ve never seen The Virgin Suicides ? Okay, this is getting a bit much, he said. It’s such a great movie, I said, ignoring him. Ohmygod, I can’t believe you’ve never seen it! And I just looked at him like, Shame .
    So Knox goes, Listen. I’m sorry, but rape and killing of teenage girls, virgins killing themselves, anyone killing themselves,it’s