Ghost Time

knew I’d feel something if he weren’t alive. I don’t know how, but I swear I’d know.
    I asked for permission to go to the bathroom, and I was so worried, I didn’t even listen to Knox’s message, I just called. He answered, and right away, I go, Is it Cam? And he goes, Thea,you didn’t get my message? I said, I didn’t have a chance. What’s wrong? And he knew what I was thinking, because he goes, No, it’s not Cam, Thea. I’m sorry, I left a message saying that it was a personal matter, he said. And I go, Personal? Listen, he said. Do you have a minute? and I looked around the girl’s bathroom. Sure, I said. Well, I wanted to ask you something, and I realize it’s a little unusual, given the circumstances, but I wanted to talk to you about—. Melody, I said, thinking out loud. Yes, he said, and I said, Is she all right? She’s fine, fine, he said, like he was waving his hand. It’s nothing, and then I heard it in his voice. Okay, I just have to come out with it, he said: I was wondering if you had plans tonight? Plans? I said, laughing for the first time all day, What, like a kegger? Knox goes, I don’t know, a party, or whatever you do. Not really, I said. Why?
    Well, Melody was smiling all night, after you left, and to be honest, it’s kind of an emergency, because I have to work tonight, and my wife’s out of town, and our babysitter just called and she has the flu, so I don’t want her near Melody, and you know what? He goes, It’s probably a bad idea, and I go, Yeah, well, that’s never stopped me before. I’ll meet you at your house a little after three? Knox goes, That’d be great, thank you. Really, he sighed. Not because he got a sitter, though. I could tell that wasn’t what he was most worried about, but something else. Like she wasn’t the one who needed me, he was.
    He acted kind of nervous, too, when I showed up. Thea, hello, come in, he said, stepping back, ushering me in with his arm, come in, come in. He was wearing his work clothes, and seeingme, he suddenly looked really stiff in his own house. Melody’s in the living room, he said, so I followed him in. Melody, look who’s here, sweetheart, he said, picking up the remote and turning down the volume. There were Nickelodeon cartoons on, looked bad. What are you watching? I asked, not really asking, just curious, and Mel goes, He does this to me every day. Hey, I said, stepping in front of her, so she could see me. Her hair was in braids, and I’m sorry, but once again, I was like, Would you people please quit dressing her like she’s five?
    Nickelodeon. All. Day. Long , she said, and I smiled, and Knox looked at me, curious. I go, I can’t believe you make her watch this, Knox. And he goes, Make her watch this? I love Nickelodeon, he said, and I go, You’re a dad ! And he goes, What’s that mean? And Mel goes: Means no one cares what you think, Dad , and I looked at her, Right? Ugh, I said, and Knox looked at me, then he looked at Melody, and then he looked at me again, and he goes, I’m right here, you know? And Mel goes, Trust me, we know , and I started laughing—she’s very funny. Knox gave us this little nod, and he goes, All right, that’s about enough out of you two.
    Then his phone rang, and he held up his finger, answering. I watched him for a moment to be sure it wasn’t Cam, and it wasn’t. I could tell. Sorry about that, he said, I have to get a move on. Thea, help yourself to anything in the fridge. I’ll be home in a few hours, he said, speaking to Melody. She’s all set, he said, and if you need anything, call me, okay? I go, Just one thing, and he goes, What’s that? opening the door. I go, Melody says to tellyou she doesn’t like Nickelodeon, and Melody goes, Hate—I hate Nickelodeon , and I go, Hate. She said she hates Nickelodeon cartoons.
    Knox goes, She smiles whenever I put cartoons on, and he looks at me with that stunned dad face, all hurt and bewildered to learn a little truth about their daughter. Then he looked at Melody, like it couldn’t possibly be true, and she didn’t care. Melody said, That’s not smiling , so I told him: No, she doesn’t. And Knox goes, Let’s talk about this later, and he walked back over and gave her a kiss, and she goes, Yeah, that sounds great, Dad, we’ll talk , and I started laughing. Knox looked at me, and I nodded my head. All right, then, you got my number? he said, and I nodded yep, got it, and he closed the door.
    How was school? she