Love is Always Write Anthology Volume 1

his balls were shrinking while the tears pushed out again. They had to be, and next he'd have a vagina instead of a penis and right after that his testosterone would get replaced by estrogen, and then he'd be called Cassie instead of Casey, because the amount of sensitivity he was feeling was a helluva lot, even for him. Jared smirked; probably saw Casey fighting the stupid reaction. But who the hell cared. He'd cry now, and then never again. Promise.
    "You're jealous about some girl I went out with?" Jared muttered, his eyes trained to Casey's lips, and for a moment Casey was thinking if it was all over again, back to sex now that his mind was settled with just a piece of a confession. But then Jared looked him in the eyes, not looking at all horny, but just… well, calm, which was very odd. He never looked calm. Hell, he never was calm. "I am jealous too, and not just of some guy you talk to in a club, but of every fucking person you might meet up with, because every time you smile, I think if it'll even resemble that smile you give me , or when you talk to some other guy, I wonder if your voice sounds even slightly the same like when you moan against me when you come. I am jealous, always have been, but I didn't know I need to keep telling you that just to prove that I care and give a shit about you."
    "You don't… God, you're so stupid sometimes."
    "Am I, now? Then explain, because I've been going through this all day and I still can't seem to realize what exactly it is that you want. And I can't give you what you want if I don't know what it is."
    Yeah… the ball's in your corner now.
    "Just shoot. Simple things, if I may ask, 'cos anything more complicated than 'I want ice cream' might be too much, since I have the emotional intelligence of an earthworm. But really, just tell me and I'll try to give you what you want."
    Casey frowned. Simple things? There were no simple things. Everything was complicated now, and he was feeling too suspicious to actually embrace and appreciate the fact that Jared was on his knees on the floor in front of Casey, finally after months doing something other than fucking him or getting him ready to be fucked.
    "Simple things?"
    "If you could, yeah, that would be great." Jared smiled, oh so gently, breaking Casey's walls a little more. He was just too easy, really. No resistance, not with this man.
    "No more screwing around."
    "Done."
    "Just like that?"
    "Well… I haven't been screwing around for a while now, so it's not really a hard thing to follow through on… I didn't fuck her. Last night. I went out with her, but that's all. Promise." And yet all Casey could hear was 'for a while now'.
    "Wait…" he muttered and propped himself up on the bed. "You haven't been playing around?"
    "I've been flirting, yeah, but I haven't had sex with any of them."
    "And you didn't tell me?!" No, Casey. Don't get mad, you should actually be relieved. But he wasn't. He was pissed. "You let me go on thinking you spread your seeds around the town all this time?"
    "This is exactly what I meant. I didn't know I needed to say I wasn't doing that. I didn't know it mattered."
    Casey wanted to punch him. Really did. Didn't know it mattered? Of course it fucking mattered! And while Casey was fusing his anger with his soft-hearted emotions, Jared was smirking like he'd found something amusing in the whole situation. "If you would've said you wanted us to be exclusive, I would've told you we already are. Well… I guess we are, since I don't think you've been spreading your seeds either."
    "This isn't funny."
    "Actually, it is. Are you listening to yourself? You got what you wanted, and for that you got pissed? How can that not be funny?"
    Casey chewed his lower lip, hands now crossed across his chest and toes tapping the floor. He was vaguely aware of how he must've looked like a disappointed five-year-old but that was pretty close to what he was feeling. He had gone through emotional roller coaster for this man, for every thought he'd had about Jared sleeping around with who-the-fuck-ever, and all this time he could've concentrated on other things instead of torturing himself with vivid images. Yes, he was pissed. And yes, much to his disappointment, it was funny.
    "I feel like an idiot."
    "Everybody gets to be an ass every now and then, Case. Won't kill you."
    "Please, Jared, stop calling me that," Casey muttered. How hard could it be? "No one else calls me that either 'cos I absolutely hate it, so