Much Obliged, Jeeves

this shows on the surface.
    There was no sense in beating about bushes. It was another of those cases of if it were done, then ‘twere well ‘twere done quickly. ‘Ginger,’ I said, ‘I’m afraid I have a bit of bad news for you. That book is no longer among those present. Jeeves called on Bingley, gave him a Mickey Finn and got it away from him. He now has it among his archives.’
    He didn’t get it at first, and I had to explain. ‘Bingley is not the man of integrity you think him. He is on the contrary a louse of the first water. You might describe him as a slimy slinking slug. He pinched that book from the Junior Ganymede and tried to sell it to the McCorkadale. She sent him away with a flea in his ear because she was a fair fighter, and he tried to sell it to you. But meanwhile Jeeves nipped in and obtained it.’
    It took him perhaps a minute to absorb this, but to my surprise he wasn’t a bit upset. ‘Well, that’s all right. Jeeves can take it to the Argus-Reminder.’
    I shook the loaf sadly, for I knew that this time those hopes and dreams of his were really due for a sock in the eye.
    ‘He wouldn’t do it, Ginger. To Jeeves that club book is sacred. I’ve gone after him a dozen times, urging him to destroy the pages concerning me, but he always remains as unco-operative as Balaam’s ass, who, you may remember, dug his feet in and firmly refused to play ball. He’ll never let it out of his hands.’
    He took it, as I had forseen, big. He spluttered a good deal. He also kicked the table and would have splintered it if it hadn’t been made of marble. It must have hurt like sin, but what disturbed him, I deduced, was not so much the pain of a bruised toe as spiritual anguish. His eyes glittered, his nose wiggled, and if he was not gnashing his teeth I don’t know a gnashed tooth when I hear one.
    ‘Oh, won’t he?’ he said, going back into the old cinnamon bear routine. ‘He won’t, won’t he? We’ll see about that. Pop off, Bertie. I want to think.’
    I popped off, glad to do so. These displays of naked emotion take it out of one.

CHAPTER Fourteen

    The shortest way to the house was across the lawn, but I didn’t take it. Instead, I made for the back door. It was imperative, I felt, that I should see Jeeves without delay and tell him of the passions he had unchained and warn him, until the hot blood had had time to cool, to keep out of Ginger’s way. I hadn’t at all liked the sound of the latter’s ‘We’ll see about that’, nor the clashing of those gnashed teeth. I didn’t of course suppose that, however much on the boil, he would inflict personal violence on Jeeves — sock him, if you prefer the expression, — but he would certainly say things to him which would wound his feelings and cause their relations, so pleasant up to now, to deteriorate. And naturally I didn’t want that to happen.
    Jeeves was in a deck chair outside the back door, reading Spinoza with the cat Augustus on his lap. I had given him the Spinoza at Christmas and he was constantly immersed in it. I hadn’t dipped into it myself, but he tells me it is good ripe stuff, well worth perusal.
    He would have risen at my approagh, but I begged him to remain seated, for I knew that Augustus, like L. P. Runkle, resented being woken suddenly, and one always wants to consider a cat’s feelings.
    ‘Jeeves,’ I said, ‘a somewhat peculiar situation has popped up out of a trap, and I would be happy to have your comments on it. I am sorry to butt in when you are absorbed in your Spinoza and have probably just got to the part where the second corpse is discovered, but what I have to say is of great pith and moment, so listen attentively.’
    ‘Very good, sir.’
    ‘The facts are these,’ I said, and without further preamble or whatever they call it I embarked on my narrative. ‘Such,’ I concluded some minutes later, ‘is the position of affairs, and I think you will agree that the problem confronting us presents certain points of interest.’
    ‘Undeniably, sir.’
    ‘Somehow Ginger has got to lose the election.’
    ‘Precisely, sir.’
    ‘But how?’
    ‘It is difficult to say on the spur of the moment, sir. The tide of popular opinion appears to be swaying in Mr. Winship’s direction. Lord Sidcup’s eloquence, is having a marked effect on the electorate and may well prove the deciding factor. Mr. Seppings, who obliged as an extra waiter at the luncheon, reports that his lordship’s address to