Now That Hes Gone

one of the most successful—and feared—medical malpractice attorneys in the country. His name was known to physicians in every state, along with his reputation for securing huge judgments against doctors for making what they considered to be minor mistakes.
    Because of her husband's reputation, Noreen could not get an American doctor to treat her. After many tries, she finally had to go to Canada for treatment. Her husband could not practice there.
    It was in Canada that the diagnosis was finally made: Noreen had multiple sclerosis (MS), a crippling disease of the nervous system. This news was devastating enough, but it was followed by something worse. During the course of tests in connection with her MS, the Canadian doctors discovered that she had an aneurism, a bulge in one of the blood vessels in her brain. It had to be removed immediately, or she would die. The surgery was performed without complications and she came out just fine—except for the fact that she still had multiple sclerosis.
    Her marriage, which had not been strong to begin with, collapsed under the strain of Noreen's illnesses. Her husband left her, and with the legal skill that he displayed in his malpractice cases, managed to leave her with few assets and no retirement money. She had to go on Social Security disability in order to feed herself.
    If anyone has a right to be angry and bitter, it's Noreen. She suffered the combined pains of illness, emergency surgery, abandonment, divorce and poverty— none of which did she seem to bring about herself. She, like some of the women you've read about already, was dealt a worse hand than most of us can imagine. And yet, when you meet her, you see a trim woman with blonde pixie-like hair, fine features and a mellow, casual demeanor. When she talks, you're struck by how bubbly, energetic, even sassy she is. Her speech is upbeat and positive, her smile is genuine, automatic and lights up her face often. She has a great attitude, exudes optimism and lets her past stay in the past. “I don't really think about it,” she says simply.
    Instead, Noreen actually feels gratitude for her multiple sclerosis diagnosis. Gratitude for MS? In talking with her about it, I couldn't help registering shock that she could be grateful for something as terrible as that disease. “Oh, of course I'm grateful for the MS,” she says matter-of-factly. “If not for the MS, the doctors would not have found the aneurism, it would have burst and I would have died. Life with MS is better than no life at all, don't you agree?” Shaking my head in wonder at her inspiring attitude, I have to agree.
    A genuinely spiritual woman, Noreen says she thanks God for her blessings, despite the difficulties in her life. She gives credit for this attitude to her mother, a relentlessly positive woman who thanked God for everything that happened, believing there is more value in life's setbacks if you view them as gifts rather than punishments.
    “If you have a daughter,” Noreen urges, “pass this message on to her. Bad things happen to everyone, including you. Don't see them as bad. See them as good, as gifts which you don't yet understand the meaning or the value of. But you will, you will.”
    Today, Noreen still has MS, though it's in remission; she's still a nurse and works as much as she can. She also volunteers at her church. One of the chief sources of her energy is the fact that she is constantly serving others, giving of herself unselfishly, or so it would seem. But she benefits greatly in return, knowing that whatever she gives, she gets back many times, in other ways.
    “My future is probably OK,” she says with quiet assurance. “Since I have the MS, I'm somewhat limited, but not terribly. I work, I own my house. Money is not much of a problem. If I run out of money, my son will help. My ex will too.”
    I express surprise that after all that's happened between them, she still has a cordial relationship with her ex-husband. “Oh sure,” she says in her usual upbeat way, “We're friends now. No reason not to be.”
The Wisdom of Letting Go
    Though Noreen's Plan A most certainly did not end up looking anything like she had pictured, she is now living out a Plan B that seems to be working. In your case, right now Plan B might not be any more than a few vague ideas. It might not be much of a plan at all. This is understandable; it's OK to take your time.
    Noreen suggests I remind you that Plan A, no matter what it