Now That Hes Gone

is with the help of the Internet, specifically e-mail.
    Whether you are Internet-savvy or not, you have to admit that this electronic Magic Kingdom has made it easier than ever for people to stay in touch. You might have been raised in an era when folks wrote letters and notes, put them into envelopes and sent them in the mail. If you want to continue doing that, fine. But you will miss out on a lot. Besides exchanging messages, you and your Internet penpals can e-mail each other articles, recipes, photos, videos, just about anything that can be converted into little electronic blips. What makes e-mail even more efficient is that you can send the same message, photo, article, etc. to more than one person at a time, with little extra effort and at absolutely no extra cost. Even if you count the telephone, with the Internet you have no more powerful tool at your disposal for building community with ease and in the comfort of your own home.
    You remember the “Open Your Front Door” theme from Chapter 3. Well, “logging on” is a twenty first century version of that idea. And getting together online is a twenty first century version of community. So if you haven't fully arrived in this century yet, now is the time to do so.
    You say you don't have a computer and don't know how to use one? Then you've got a good first item for your “take-action” list. Computer classes are given just about everywhere: community colleges, adult education centers, computer stores—just look; you'll find them. At such classes, you're likely to meet people in the same boat as you are. Chances are pretty good that they'll even be close to your age. You'll get acquainted with them. Some might even become friends. Your community will start to expand right there.
    Once you have your computer and start to find your way around the Internet, you will be astounded, maybe even overwhelmed by what is out there and available to you with just a few key strokes and mouse clicks. For anything you could possibly be interested in, there is a group of people with similar interests who connect over the Internet. It's a safe and anonymous (if you choose) way to meet new people, form clubs, share information and just plain have fun.
    The important thing is, by “opening your front door” in this way, you are taking positive steps to build a new community, a new life. Remember the advice of my friend Ellen in the previous chapter: “It's important to believe that there is something you can do right now to make your life better. You can have any life you want. But you have to go get it.”
Choose Your Professional Advisors Carefully
    Having the support of friends and family is great, but these people can only help in limited ways. At some point, you're probably going to need the help and advice of professionals. The most important of these, at least in the beginning are an attorney, a psychological counselor and a financial advisor.
Choosing an Attorney
    Selecting an attorney is extremely important at this time of your life, as you might have learned already. Advising you how to choose a good attorney is outside the scope of this book. But in the appendix, I've recommended some books that do a good job of addressing the legal issues faced by a newly-single woman and give some sound advice about making this important choice. In addition to these sources, you can also try the Internet.
Choosing a Counselor
    I'm not going to suggest that, just because you've lost your man and are going through a rough time emotionally, you should run off and see a therapist. You might not need one. A support group or the loving attention of friends or family might be all the help you need. After all, people suffered through deaths and divorces for centuries before psychology was invented and they survived just fine.
    You might recall my mentioning earlier that some of my clients call me a “financial therapist” because they come to me for financial advice, but they wind up talking about their feelings a lot more than their money. That's fine with me. I just listen. I let them cry and voice their fears. Of course, I don't do psychotherapy (I'm not licensed for it) and I don't want to. So when a new client starts talking about the difficulties she's having emotionally and I see she needs more than just a sympathetic ear, I often advise her to seek counseling.
    How you choose a counselor is a very personal process. Of course, you'll want to ask for referrals. Someone