Now That Hes Gone

that the best way to dispel this fear is by showing the woman that she has enough to last her for the rest of her life—or if she doesn't have enough, then spelling out exactly what she needs to do in order to be financially secure as long as she lives. I do it by taking all the financial information available—assets, liabilities, income, expenses, whatever—and come up with a single number, something she can understand and deal with, a number that tells her how much she will need to live on.
    Remember I said that money was the easiest issue to deal with because it can be counted? This is the point at which we do the counting and realistically evaluate your financial situation.
    Unlike when we were counting up your assets, the essential question here is, not how much you have, but “How much will you need”? If you're going to answer this, you have to look at how much money you take in and how much you spend. That involves bringing in all of your checkbooks, bank statements, tax returns, credit card statements, whatever you have that tells how much comes in and how much goes out.
    Next, you have to figure out which items—both income and outflow—will continue. Obviously, your husband's income is no longer part of your financial picture, unless you have divorced and part of his income is paid to you in alimony. Some sources of income, like dividends from stock in your name, will continue. If your husband has died and his pension had a survivor benefit, that might continue also. Some of his expenses, like car payments, will still need to be paid. You've got to figure out how you can maximize the amount that's coming in and minimize the amount that's going out. I take my clients through this exercise, which can often be painful.
    Your late husband might have loved that old Corvette he restored and drove on weekends. It might break your heart to sell it, but the costs of insurance and upkeep on it are probably not worth whatever warm feelings that car might give you.
    At the end of this process, as I said, we come up with a number. This number is the amount you're going to need in order to live your life as you want to live it, for as long as you can expect to live. Often, the number is too big, and I have to give my client the sad news that, in order to make it on her own, she's going to have to go back to work, or work more years than she had planned. She might have to sell the house or apartment she's lived in and loved most of her life. She also might have to “bite the bullet” and cut back on her spending.
    Many women are angered to learn that their man wasn't quite as financially astute as he led them to believe. Or his pension carried no survivor benefits. Or the money she thought was locked up in an IRA had over the years been gambled away at a casino or lost through speculation. Such realizations are harsh, but it's better to bring them out and deal with them now, rather than later.
    When you have that number, you can at least make a plan. You can say, “All right, if I cut my expenses to the bare essentials, I can just make it. But if I want some extras, if I want to travel and get some new clothes, if I'm going to keep getting my hair and nails done, I'm going to need an extra $2,000 a month. That means I'll have go to work, at least part-time. So be it.”
    What will the result be in your case? I've found that most women usually have enough, or can earn enough to get along just fine in her later years. And with good advice and proper money management, she has no reason to fear becoming a “bag lady.”
    Let's recap. You will understand your present situation a lot better when you've completely and successfully answered these three questions:
Do you know what you have?
Where is it?
Why do you have it?
    This involves taking an inventory of your assets, locating them, then deciding which ones to keep and which to sell.
    Next, you'll want to reduce your on-going financial requirements to a single number, which means you must answer this question: How much will I need? This involves adding up all your sources of income and all of your expenses, then coming up with a number upon which you can base a plan.
    Once you answer that final question, you'll have a firm grasp on what your future will look like. In the process, you will have answered the ultimate question, “Am I going to be OK?” And you'll know the answer to that question is yes.
    You have a long way to go, but at least you've gotten a good