Now That Hes Gone

might never be able to get the money these certificates are worth. So look carefully through every file and drawer and strongbox. If you see a piece of paper with a fancy border, hang onto it. It could be worth something, maybe a lot.
    Insurance policies are also extremely important. Basically, the policy is your proof that the insurance exists. Without it, at best you'll suffer some inconvenience; at worst, a loss of valuable benefits. See the Appendix for a list of companies that will search for lost policies if you think you were insured, but can't prove it.
    Your objective in answering, “Where is it?” is to enable you and your financial advisor to get your hands on your assets so you can take appropriate action, whatever that might be.
3. Why do you have it?
    This might be the most difficult question to answer because it involves looking at the present in light of your long-term goals for the future. When your man is gone, it's almost 100 percent certain that your financial goals will change, as will the investment strategies that were employed to pursue them. At least some of what you own will no longer be appropriate or even make sense for you to keep. That's why we have to ask the “why” question about everything you own.
    Take my client Vera, for example. Her husband was a very clever guy, and he was skilled at something called “trend analysis.” This is a technique that involves studying and interpreting trends in the stock market so as to anticipate and take advantage of price moves in the future. It's a very sophisticated technique that includes much buying and selling of stocks.
    When Vera came to see me, she actually had boxes full of stock certificates, most of them issued by companies she had never even heard of. Many of the stocks were quite speculative, paid no dividends, and were highly volatile in price. These were not the kind of assets a widow should own, and I told her so.
    “But Steve studied these companies,” she protested. “He knew they were good investments and would be worth a lot more some day. To sell them now would seem like I was being disloyal to him, or not respecting his ability.”
    “Look,” I said, “Steve was a genius at trend analysis. We are not. For him, this strategy might have made sense. But it's not appropriate for you, given your age and stage of life. We'll design a plan for you that provides the steady income you need while lowering your overall risk. There's nothing disloyal or disrespectful about securing your financial future. I'm sure that's what Steve would want for you.”
    Vera saw the logic in this argument and gave me the go-ahead to sell all her husband's cherished stocks and put the proceeds into a portfolio more appropriate to her situation. That was some years ago, and she's still living off the income from that portfolio.
    If you're up to it, you can go through these three questions and answer them on your own. Or, you can get your financial advisor to help you. Either way, I guarantee that when you're done, you'll feel a lot better about your finances than you do now.
    With the help of the three questions, you should have a pretty good handle on your present situation. Now you're ready to look to the future.
The “Bag Lady” Syndrome
    We've all seen them: old, gnarled women, dressed in filthy rags, wandering the streets, muttering incoherently, carrying all their worldly possessions in a few tattered shopping bags. They beg for change; they sleep in doorways; they live a life of fear, pain, loneliness and misery. They are the “bag ladies,” a sad example of what can happen to a woman when she runs out of money.

    In my practice, I've encountered a surprisingly common a fear, even among wealthy widows and divorcées. They fear that they will run out of money and wind up being a “bag lady.” Why is that? I'm sure the reasons vary from one person to another, but I believe this fear is largely the result of messages they received, probably from their parents when they were little girls. These messages went something like this: “You need a man to take care of you, to support and protect you. Without a man, you won't be financially sufficient in your old age.”
    Ridiculous? Of course. This way of thinking is not standard any more, and is much more likely to be found among women of the older generations. Yet I am still surprised by how many younger, supposedly more self-reliant women feel this way. How do we handle it?
    I've learned