Paint Me Beautiful

class, after I'd said yes. “That's not to say he didn't have any good qualities though,” Emmett continues, but not like he's told this story before, almost like he's figuring out how to tell it as he goes. I like that. I watch him pour the fragrant pink liquid into the hot water. Almost immediately, the pungent scent of orchids fills the room and makes me sigh. Emmett continues to watch me very, very carefully as he tests the water with his hand and turns down the heat a bit. “He started a company from the ground up, a car rental business actually. He went from squatting in a foreclosed home to buying entire city blocks on a whim. A true rags to riches story.” Emmett looks over at me and takes a deep breath before slipping off his shoes and dropping his pants to the floor in a wet heap. I try not to look at his cock, but of course that's the first place my eyes go. He's not excited, but it looks like he wants to be. I glance back up at his face and apologize.
    “ Sorry, I really am listening.”
    “ It's okay,” Emmett says, stepping forward and brushing my hair over my shoulder. “If I didn't want you to look, I wouldn't have slept with you.” I try not to smile, but I can't seem to help myself. I should be miserable right now, wallowing in agony, slicing my arms with that cruelly delicious blade … I have to close my eyes and catch my breath. Even thinking about cutting myself is making my arms and legs tingle. I open them when I realize that Emmett doesn't know yet. His eyes are on mine though and not on the scars.
    “ Emmett, I … ”
    “ Don't have to explain yourself,” he says as he takes one of my wrists in his hand and slides the fingers of his other up to touch my wounds. “Pain manifests itself in so many different ways. Different fur, same animal.”
    “ You sound like you know what you're talking about … ” I begin and then stop when Emmett turns his arm around for me to see, holds it up to the light and waits for me to make my judgment, if I'm going to. When I look carefully, I can see them. There are dozens upon dozens of tiny, white scars flecking Emmett's skin. How I missed them before, I'm not sure. Maybe because I've been so wrapped up in myself that I haven't been able to see anything else or maybe it's because when we're together, I can't think about anything but the feel of his flesh against mine and the warmth that radiates from his beautiful, fucking smile.
    My face scrunches up and my mouth falls open, but I don't know what to say.
    “ I never met my mom because she left when I was only a few days old, but I don't blame her, I only wish that she'd taken me.” Emmett pauses and takes a huge breath that stretches the muscles in his chest and for the first time, lets me see that there are some scars there, too. They're hardly visible anymore, but when I touch my fingers to one, Emmett gasps.
    “ What did he do to you?” I ask, wondering how Emmett got over his pain. None of the cuts look fresh; they're all covered with shiny, white scar tissue that blends into the pale skin of his underarm and hide in the shadows of his chest.
    “ Nothing. It was what he did to the women he dated. Every time he hurt one of them and I did nothing about it, I felt responsible, and I made sure to mark myself, so I could feel their pain. Then one day, I just couldn't take it anymore, and I left. I came here, as close the tree house as I could get. He used to own that land before he sold it for timber, and I swear, that's the only spot on this earth where I ever saw him truly happy. Honestly, I think there's something magical there, something that makes it more than just a place to sit and think.”
    Emmett drops his arm to his side and glances over his shoulder.
    “ Bath is ready,” he whispers as he turns away and shuts off the water, holding out his hand for me to take. I thread my fingers through his and step into the water, hissing at the scalding heat against my skin. I'm so cold inside that the lukewarm water feels like it's boiling, and I have to stand there for several minutes getting used to it before I'm able to sit down. I scoot forward and let Emmett climb in behind me, doing my best not to groan when he wraps his arms around my waist and tucks me tightly against him, melding our bodies together with nothing but soap and water to separate them.
    I think about my plan, and I almost consider dropping it, forgetting about this whole horrible period in my life and changing my