Point of Retreat

sigh. “I don’t know. I don’t know if she has insurance. I don’t know her social. I don’t know if she’s allergic to anything. She hasn’t got anyone but me, and I don’t know a damn thing!” I lay my head in my hands, almost ashamed of the fact that Lake and I have never even discussed any of this before. Didn’t we learn anything? Didn’t I learn anything from my parent’s death? From Julia’s death? Here I am, possibly facing my past head-on again… unprepared and overwhelmed .
     
    My grandfather walks over to me and wraps his arms around me. “I’m sorry, Will. We’ll figure it out.”
     
    ***
     
    Another hour passes with no word. Not even about Eddie. Joel goes with my grandparents to take Kel and Caulder to the cafeteria for food. Gavin stays with me.
     
    I guess Gavin gets tired of sitting in the chairs because he gets up and lays down in the floor. It looks like a good idea, so I do the same thing. I put my hands under my head and raise my feet up into a chair.
     
    “I’m trying not to think about it, Will. But if the baby isn’t okay…Eddie…”
     
    I hear the fear in his voice. He can’t even finish his sentence.
     
    “Gavin…stop. Stop thinking about it. Let’s just think about something else for a while. We’ll drive ourselves insane if we don’t.”
     
    “Yeah…” he says.
     
    We’re both silent, so I know we’re both still thinking about it. I try to think about anything else.
     
    “I kicked Reece out this morning,” I say, doing my best tear our minds away from reality.
     
    “Why? I thought you guys were best friends,” he says. He sounds relieved to be talking about something else, too.
     
    “We used to be. Things change. People change. People get new best friends,” I say.
     
    “That they do.”
     
    We’re both quiet again for a while. My mind starts drifting back to Lake, so I reel myself back in. “I punched him,” I say. “Right in the jaw. It was beautiful. I wish you could’ve seen it.”
     
    Gavin laughs. “Good. I never have liked him.”
     
    “I’m not so sure I did, either," I say. "It’s just one of those things where you feel obligated to the friendship, I guess.”
     
    “Those are the worst kind,” he says.
     
    We're silent again. Every now and then, one of us will lift our head when we hear someone walk by. We eventually become too tired to even do that. I begin to drift off to sleep when I'm sucked back into reality.
     
    “Sir?” someone says from the doorway. Gavin and I both jump up.
     
    “She’s in a room now,” the nurse says to Gavin. “You can go see her. Room 207.”
     
    “She’s okay? Is the baby okay?”
     
    The nurse nods at him and smiles.
     
    And he’s gone. Just like that.
     
    The nurse turns to me. “Dr. Bradshaw wanted me to let you know they’re still in surgery. He doesn’t have any updates yet, but we’ll let you know as soon as we find something out.”
     
    “Thank you,” I say.
     
    ***
     
    My grandparent’s eventually come back with Kel and Caulder. My grandfather and Kel are trying to fill out the paperwork for Lake as best they can. There aren’t any questions on the form I could answer that Kel doesn’t already know the answer to. They leave most of the questions blank. My grandfather walks the forms to the nurses’ station and returns with a box.
     
    “These are some of the personal items that were found in the vehicles,” he says to me. “Take what’s yours and Layken’s and leave the rest in the box. I’ll take it back.”
     
    I lean forward and look inside the box. My satchel is on top, so I pull it out. Lake’s purse is there. So are my cell phone and my jacket. I don’t see her phone, though. That doesn’t mean anything…she probably just lost it again. I open her purse and pull out her wallet and hand it to my grandfather.
     
    “Look in there. She might have an insurance card or something.”
     
    He takes the wallet out of my hands and opens it. They must have already given Eddie’s things to Gavin, because there’s nothing left in the box.
     
    “It’s late,” my grandmother says. “We’ll take the boys home with us so they can get some rest. Do you need anything before we go?” she says.
     
    “I don’t want to go,” Kel says.
     
    “Kel, sweetie. You need some rest. There isn’t anywhere you can sleep here,” she says.
     
    Kel looks at me and silently pleads.
     
    “He can stay with me,” I say.
     
    My grandmother picks up