Princess Sultana's Circle

And my elusive father
would feel justified in his dislike of the youngest child born of
his first wife, Fadeela, even more that he already did. My sobs
became even more heartfelt.
    My earnest cries softened
Kareem’s heart. He rose and walked toward me. He sat down on the
edge of the bed and began to push my long hair away from my face.
“Darling, I am not angry at you,” he said. “I am angry at
myself.”
    I stared in confusion at
Kareem. “Why are you angry at yourself?” I sputtered.
    “ I failed to see what was
in front of me.” He thoughtfully wiped the tears from my face. “Had
I not been so occupied with business, I would have been aware of
your problem long ago. Please forgive me, Sultana.”
    Relief swept over me.
Kareem was willing to take my burden upon his shoulders. He blamed
himself, and not me. I had been saved, once again!
    Reckless with the thought
of yet another unearned reprieve, I was eager to agree with Kareem,
and say that, yes, he had been much too occupied with business
matters. He had neglected me, his wife. Just as I opened my mouth
to express my smugness and feeling of victory, abruptly, I felt the
closeness of my mother’s spirit in the room. I gasped as I looked
around. Although I could not see Mother, I instinctually knew that
she was here, witnessing this encounter between my husband and
me.
    “ Sultana, are you all
right?” With a look of great concern, he gently stroked my face
with his hand.
    I nodded, yet still could
not utter a sound. The essence of Mother was becoming even
stronger. I cannot express the terror I felt when I was struck with
the absolute knowledge that I was undergoing some manner of a trial
like no other, and that much more was expected of me than my usual
immature reactions. A small, silent voice told me that if I were
ever again to know genuine peace and joy, I must change my
behavior.
    Long moments passed before
I could speak. Looking straight at my husband, I said, “Kareem, I
will no longer seek shameful victories. My own weakness, not yours,
has created this dilemma. You are blameless. So, erase this worry
from your face, Husband. I alone am responsible for my
drinking.”
    There! I had said it! For
once in my life, I had not taken the easy means of escape regarding
my personal imperfections. Kareem was shocked, as was I, at my new
mature accountability.
    I smiled at my husband. “I
promise that from this moment, I will make every effort to defeat
this problem.”
    Kareem took me in his arms.
“Darling, together we will defeat this problem.”
    Indeed, being in Kareem’s
loving arms was a great consolation. I did so want to defeat my
vexing cravings for alcohol with all its lies and secrecy. Brimming
with hope and optimism, my mood quickly became joyful.
    Later, Kareem went to find
Asad, who was staying at our Jeddah palace with Sara.
    Wishing to speak with my
sister, I rang through to the guest suite and spoke with Sara on
the palace intercom. We agreed to meet in the women’s
garden.
    After embracing my sister,
I quickly confided everything that had happened between Kareem and
me. Sara was openly happy for me and praised my courage.
    She said, “You should have
unburdened your troubles to your husband at the first hint of
trouble. I knew that Kareem would not react as you said he might.”
She paused before speaking. “You should have seen him last evening,
Sultana. He was completely distraught when he learned that your
greatest fear was that he might desert you at your greatest time of
need.”
    I tried to persuade my
sister to tell me everything Kareem had said about me, and our
marriage, but Sara refused. My husband had spoken to her in
confidence.
    “ We are two fortunate
women, Sultana,” she reminded me gently. “We both married men who
are wonderful husbands.” She paused before admitting, “In this
land, such men are as rare as flawless diamonds.”
    I thought about Sara’s
words. What she said was true. Certainly, Asad was a husband unlike
any other. He adored my sister. Since the first moment Asad’s eyes
had seen Sara, no other woman had existed for this former playboy.
Sara was the luckiest of women.
    And while Kareem had
greatly disappointed me on more than one occasion, those painful
events had occurred a long time ago. As the years had passed,
Kareem had grown into a supportive and loving husband and father.
I, too, was a fortunate woman.
    After giving my sister a
second heartfelt embrace, I returned to my bedroom