Red Phoenix

small smile.
    I didn’t say anything and his smile turned wry.
    I ran my hands through my hair and gave up. ‘I’ve been having dreams. Last night…’ I couldn’t finish it.
    ‘Go on,’ he said. ‘Tell me. Let it out.’
    ‘Last night,’ I said, ‘I dreamed that I…’
    ‘What?’
    ‘I dreamed that I ate the Phoenix’s babies,’ I said. ‘I was a snake, and I ate the babies !’
    ‘Most snakes eat baby birds, it is the main part of their diet,’ he said, looking me straight in the eye over his hands. ‘I used to dream of eating babies all the time.’
    I stopped, horrified. ‘You didn’t, you didn’t…’ No. He wasn’t like that at all. But when he had the Serpent, maybe?
    ‘Never,’ he said, without a hint of emotion in his voice.
    ‘But you wanted to !’
    ‘Of course I did,’ he said, his tone not changing. ‘I would also dream about killing my demon staff, about killing my students, even killing Michelle.’He shrugged. ‘I never dreamed of killing Simone, which is surprising—’
    ‘Oh my God,’ I said, my voice very small.
    ‘When I lost the Serpent the dreams stopped.’
    ‘You lost that evil part of your nature and you stopped dreaming about killing things?’
    He wrenched his hands apart and slammed them on the table, palms down. ‘You have a long way to go, sometimes, Emma!’ he spat, his eyes blazing. ‘Haven’t you learned anything?’ He made an obvious conscious effort to control himself, then rubbed his hands over his face. ‘You are a Westerner. I suppose it is inevitable that you would have this attitude.’
    I felt thoroughly browbeaten and went silent. He’d never reacted that way before to anything that I’d said in the past.
    We studied each other over the table. For the first time since I’d met him, I didn’t know what to say. I even felt slightly afraid of him. There was a gulf between us.
    Well then, bridge it.
    ‘Tell me,’ I said softly. ‘Teach me.’
    ‘Do you know what you said?’ he said, looking deep into my eyes. ‘You said something that always makes me very angry when I hear it.’
    I was silent. I didn’t want to provoke the same reaction.
    ‘You said that the Serpent is evil. You said that I am evil. The whole concept is abhorrent. And yet still you stamp it onto me. If you still think that there is such a thing as “evil” then you have not learned anything.’ He turned away and tied his hair back.
    ‘Tell me about serpents then, Xuan Wu,’ I said quietly. ‘They eat babies alive, but they aren’t evil. Tell me.’
    ‘Have you eaten lamb?’ he said without looking at me.
    ‘You know I have.’
    ‘Veal?’ he said. ‘Roast sucking pig? Even chicken? Only six weeks old, most of them.’
    I stopped as I understood. ‘Not any more. And never alive.’
    He looked me right in the eyes. ‘Imagine that you are walking through Victoria Park, and you see a crow. In its claws, held down with its foot, the crow has a baby sparrow. The baby sparrow is struggling; it is in its death throes. The crow is waiting patiently for the sparrow to die. It is watching the sparrow die with interest. When the sparrow is dead, the crow will dismember it and eat it. What would you do?’
    I stopped and deliberated.
    ‘Don’t think about what you’d do, the answer will be contrived!’ he snapped. ‘Tell me! You are there! What do you do ?’
    ‘I’d walk away,’ I said miserably, my voice small.
    ‘Good,’ he said, leaning back and eyeing me appraisingly. ‘Perhaps you are learning. Would you try to rescue the baby sparrow?’
    ‘No,’ I said with more confidence. ‘It’s in its death throes, so it’s already effectively dead.’
    ‘Is the crow evil?’ he said quickly.
    ‘No,’ I said, just as fast. ‘It just wants its dinner.’
    ‘Good!’ he said briskly. ‘But the sparrow is suffering. Would you try to kill it sooner? To save its suffering?’
    ‘If I could, I would,’ I said. ‘But I’d be likely to have my hand taken off by the crow if I tried, and besides, it would scare the crow away.’
    ‘Excellent!’ he said, his voice full of approval. ‘Why wouldn’t you want to scare the crow away?’
    ‘Because then the crow would go hungry,’ I said with wonder. I hadn’t even thought of that angle until he asked me. ‘The crow has to eat too, and I have no right to deprive it of its dinner.’
    ‘Now.’ He leaned forward over the desk and steepled his hands on the papers. ‘What is the purpose of the