Shatner Rules

Project Strigas Affair.” “Project”
and
“Project”? Crazy! Also, that same 1964
Man from U.N.C.L.E.
episode that William Shatner guest-starred in also featured Leonard Nimoy. Who would later, of course, star with William Shatner in . . . an episode of
T.J. Hooker.
Weird!
RULE: Not Everything Has to Be about
Star Trek
!
    Stevens started work on his script for
Incubus
after
The Outer Limits
had been canceled, and enlisted the help of cinematographer Conrad Hall, who would later win Oscars for
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
,
American Beauty
, and
Road to Perdition
. Fine films all, hampered only by their use of a language people around the world understand.
    You know that language, right? English? I chose to write this book in it. Also, the copy of the
Incubus
script I got when I signed onto the project was also written in English. The contract I signed saying I would be in
Incubus
? English! The whole “shooting the film in Esperanto” thing was a secret that Leslie Stevens decided to keep to himself.
    But the story spoke to me—on that level that doesn’t really require a language. It was an allegorical tale in which I played a soldier arriving in a mysterious town to heal my battle wounds with the water from a miraculous spring. Demons lurked within the shadows of the village, preying on the souls of the narcissists who would exploit this fountain of youth. Kind of trippy. Watching
Incubus
might impair your ability to operate heavy machinery.
    Leslie felt that the only people who needed to know about his Esperantan epic were the world’s two million Esperanto speakers. Why? Because every last one of them would buy a ticket to see this film, virtually guaranteeing a big profit!
    Well, not necessarily, especially if you give the world’s Esperanto speakers the shaft. Word is, some Esperantists reached out to Stevens to help with the production, and he rebuffed them. (Imagine the brief thrill some Esperantists felt when the possibility emerged that they might make some money from their ability to speak this language fluently.)
    Forget the experts! Leslie Stevens alone was going to make the first movie ever shot in Esperanto—including directing the action in the language—and he was going to do this in a lightning-fast eighteen days, not including the ten days his actors had to learn their lines. Phonetically.
    (NOTE: Learning . . . things . . . phone . . . et . . . i . . . cally . . . is easy . . . for . . . William . . . Shatner.)
    Incubus
eventually debuted at film festivals around the world. And while Esperanto speakers believe in uniting people under the banner of a common language, they aren’t big believers in uniting their pals for movie night, and the film—despite some glowing reviews—quickly sank without a trace. The original print was destroyed in a fire, and it was considered a “lost” film. Most people forgot about poor, hopelessly bold and experimental
Incubus
. Except those people touched—
by its curse
!
    Yes, some people believe there’s a curse attached to
Incubus
.
    True, some tragic elements did unfold after the film wrapped. Milos Milos, the Hungarian actor and bodyguard who played the Incubus, died in a murder/suicide around the time of the film’s release. Ann Atmar, who played my character’s sister, committed suicideas well. Other actors suffered kidnappings, murders; Leslie Stevens’s company went bankrupt. I promptly started on
Star Trek
.
    Which—was not a curse; it was a blessing.
    How did I escape the
Incubus
curse?
    Well, it’s complicated, but . . . I’d better write the rest of this in Esperanto.

    FUN FACTNER: If you want to know what William Shatner just said, go to WilliamShatner.com.
    After being lost for many years, a print of
Incubus
was found in France (of course) in 1999. The SyFy Channel restored it and released it on DVD. Mo Rocca of
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
on Comedy Central interviewed me at the time, heralding me as a “great foreign film actor” and “the top Esperanto box office draw.”
    (NOTE TO SELF: Update business cards.)
    Rocca also had a focus group of Esperanto speakers watch the film, who had unkind things to say about my Esperantan pronunciations.
    Well, to them I say, “Kiss my butt.”
    (That’s actually the same in Esperanto as it is in English. We are all of us, in the world, united by certain commonalities.)

QUIZ
    Which celebrity did not attended the premiere of
Incubus
at the