Silence Of The Hams

get her to a shrink?“ Shelley asked bluntly.
    Grace didn’t take offense. “Of course. But she just looks at me like I’m the one who needs help and says she’s perfectly all right and why would I think otherwise. In fact, that’s the only dispute—if you could even call it that—I’ve had with Conrad. I suggested to him that she might benefit from some professional help and he cut me down like a cornstalk. No. That sounds nasty. He was quite pleasant and polite about it, but made it clear it wasn’t even to be considered. And I can see his point, in a way.“
    “Which is?“ Jane asked.
    “That he’s taken good care of her all this time, and just because she doesn’t want to spill her guts every time someone asks her a question, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with her. He says he loved the girl she was and as they’ve both grown up, he’s come to love the dignified, restrained woman she’s become. In fact, he made me feel pretty silly about it.“
    “How’s that?“
    “Oh, as if I were trying to recapture lost youth or whatever. He asked me why anybody would want to stay what they were at eighteen. And he’s right. But I miss the sister I once had just the same.“
    “Grace, I’ve got a frantic schedule today and tomorrow,“ Jane said. “But if there’s anything, however trivial, I can do after that, I will.“
    “Me, too,“ Shelley said, grabbing the check as Grace reached for it.
    “Thanks. I’ll let you know. But for now you’ve done wonders for me, letting me babble this way. And thanks for a“—she paused and looked down at the remains of the pizza with an ironic grin—“for a ‘decent’ lunch.“
    “I think ‘decent’ is stretching it,“ Shelley said wryly. “ ‘Barely edible’ is more like it.”

8

    When Grace had left the restaurant, Shelley said, “Whew! What a terrible thing for Sarah. And for Grace, too. Imagine if your own sister turned into a stranger.“
    “I can’t imagine,“ Jane said, toying with a breadstick. “But I’d like to. I think I’d pay somebody big bucks to give my sister a personality transplant.“
    “Jane! You don’t mean that.“
    “Shows how much you know. But it is awful for Grace. Still, I wonder if Conrad isn’t right. Maybe Sarah is perfectly happy in her own way.“
    “Jane, she’s in a mental ward! They don’t put you in those places for no reason.“
    “I don’t mean this minute, but in general. If you’d had something that emotionally wrenching in your past, it would be bound to change your personality. Likely make you more quiet and private.“
    “But she’s shy, and as a former shy person, I can tell you it’s not a happy state.“
    “I’ll never believe this story that you were a shy kid.“
    “I got over it,“ Shelley said firmly. “All of which is beside the point. We set out to dig up information about Robert Stonecipher’s death, and never talked to Grace about it at all.“
    “I know. As detectives, we’re pretty lousy. We haven’t learned anything today, except that Rhonda Stonecipher is a fake person with excellent taste, a lot of money, and the hots for her deceased husband’s law partner, and she had a good motive for getting rid of him. And that motive—the desire to be a rich widow—was a given anyway. All we’ve added to the mix is the part about Tony Belton and we aren’t going on anything but instinct on that.“
    “I’m not sure motive is all that important,“ Shelley said. “Well, it’s important of course, but think about it—if you wanted to bump off your husband so you could get your hands on his money and his protégé, wouldn’t you plan it better? If you were Rhonda, I certainly think you would. She doesn’t leave anything to chance.“
    “Hmm. You’ve got a point. But why would you choose unfamiliar territory, a really weird ‘weapon,’ and do it in the midst of a mob of people, any one of whom might walk in on you and catch you?“
    “For that matter, why would anybody commit a murder that way?“ Shelley added.
    “Nobody’d plan one that way, so it had to be spontaneous, didn’t it? The heat of passion? Hot words, flouncing around, maybe some shoving.“
    “And anybody might succumb to the passion of a moment.”
    Jane rummaged in her purse for her car keys. “Almost anybody but Rhonda. I can’t imagine she has an ounce of passion in her. She can probably make love and polish her nails at the same time.”
    They paid their bill and