Silence Of The Hams

started organizing a victory parade, not tried to make it look like he’d been killed. Why would anybody make it look like murder?“
    “I have no idea. But it’s not a homicide investigation anymore and I can file all my notes about who was where and when.“
    “Why did you tell me not to go to Emma’s? Not that I intend to anyway.“
    “Because I knew you were considering it in order to snoop. And there’s no need.“
    “But surely that’s not just the end of it.“
    “No, I’m sure there’s some legal violation in the matter of pushing the rack over on a body. Malicious mischief or something. But it’s not my case anymore. I need to stretch my legs for a bit. Do you mind if I go take a look at the setup here? Then I’ll spell you if you want to take a nap.”
    Jane, deep in confused thought, waved him away. “Sure. Go ahead.”
    She was still brooding on this bizarre twist when Patsy Mallett, the head of the party organizers, came by on her rounds. “How’s it going?“ Patsy said, taking the chair Mel had vacated and briefly setting down a notebook—her party bible, she called it—on the floor.
    Patsy was a large, gap-toothed, dynamic woman in her fifties. Nearly eight years ago, she had first come up with the idea of the school-sponsored all-night party. From humble, non-mandatory beginnings (Jane had heard that the first year only twenty rather nerdy kids had been desperate enough for a social activity on graduation night to attend), the party had become THE thing to do and it was all due to Patsy’s tremendous energy and planning. She had the rare gift of being able to juggle fifteen committees without ever seeming flurried or harassed. She greeted every crisis with a smile and a shrug and the comment “Not to worry. It’ll work out.“ And it always did with her at the helm.
    “Nobody’s tried to make a break for freedom,“ Jane assured her with a smile.
    “No, they don’t much anymore. But we promise the parents the kids can’t leave unless a parent fetches them, so we have to guard every door. You have two more children coming up through the grades, don’t you, Jane?”
    Jane nodded reluctantly. She knew where this was going.
    “And one’s a sophomore next year, right?“ Patsy went on. “If you’d choose a committee you’d like to serve on next year, then the year after you might co-chair it. Or at least be ready to co-chair when your third one comes along.“
    “Do you know my friend Shelley Nowack?”
    Patsy’s eyes lit up. “I’ve heard of her. I don’t believe we’ve ever met though. I hear she’s a very efficient person.“
    “She is. She’s the kind of chairman you need. I’ll talk to her about what committee she’d like and serve with her.“
    “Great. We’ll get together next week.”
    “So soon?“
    “Jane, this doesn’t happen overnight. Next year’s committee chairs are already working. Contracts with some suppliers have to be signed years in advance.“
    “I’m in awe of how you manage this,“ Jane said. “Shelley will love knowing you.”
    “I’ll share my secret with her,“ Patsy said, grinning.
    “Secret?“
    “Yes. You know each committee has two co-chairs. I tell people that’s in case one gets sick or has to move. But the fact is, I was a history major in college, and I’ve always remembered something I learned about Henry VIII.“
    “Henry VIII?“ Jane said, believing she’d misheard.
    “Yes. People think he was a womanizing bumbler. But he wasn’t a bumbler. He was a very effective monarch, and he managed it by pairing enemies,“ Patsy explained. “See, kings had to send off ambassadors to all the other European powers, and while the ambassadors were out of the king’s sight, he didn’t know what they were up to. Sometimes they weren’t as competent or as loyal as they could be and went off on their own agenda instead of the monarch’s. So Henry always sent two ambassadors together and made sure they didn’t like each other. That way they were forever tattling on each other and he knew exactly what both of them were up to. And since each knew the other was tattling, each did the best job he could to show off and impress him. Henry got efficiency and comprehensive reports.”
    Jane laughed. “You’re not nearly as sweet as you look! Shelley is going to love knowing you, Patsy. I can’t believe you model yourself on Henry VIII.“
    “I’m getting his figure, that’s for sure, and if I didn’t keep up on my