The Class Menagerie

wasn’t even mussed, but she was cranky. “I’m sorry,“ she said curtly. “Would you help me find the damned thing before it wakes everybody again?“
    This time the clock was in Mimi’s bathroom cabinet.
    And the one that went off at four o’clock was between the mattresses in Kathy’s room.
    The next alarm clock that went off was Jane’s own that she’d brought from home. She fumbled for it, turned it off, then looked blearily around the room, for the moment not remembering where she was. She got dressed quietly and quickly, and crept downstairs to let herself out. It was just seven when she got home.
    When she got back to the bed and breakfast an hour and a half later, the back door to the kitchen stood open. “Edgar? I’m sorry I’m late. Katie lost her lunch ticket and missed her car pool—“
    Edgar was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper. “No hurry. We had a long night here as you well know.“
    Jane poured herself a cup of his miracle coffee and sat down. “So you heard the commotion.“
    “I stayed out of it, but couldn’t help but hear the noise and eavesdrop.“
    “Edgar, I don’t get it. I just don’t have the mind-set for practical jokes. I can’t think them up. I don’t think they’re funny. At least these seem harmless. Nobody can get hurt when an alarm goes off. That’s not like exploding cigars or something. So everybody’s sleeping in?“
    “Not everybody. Shelley’s in the living room. She got here about ten minutes ago. And somebody else went through here and had coffee while I was back upstairs. Left a coffee cup in the sink.“
    Gordon stumbled into the room in jeans and a sweatshirt, his hair rumpled and sheet-creases on his cheek. “My God, what was that? An old-fashioned slumber party? Or did I imagine noises all night?“
    Edgar explained. “Crazy,“ Gordon mumbled, pouring himself a gigantic mug of coffee.
    “You’re not working today?“ Jane asked him when he finally raised his face from the mug.
    “Not at the salt mines. I told Edgar I’d hang around in case he needed me.“
    “The only assistance I need now is getting breakfast into these women. It would help if they got up. Jane, you want to see if you can stir them?“
    Jane obediently went up the front stairs. Before she even reached the second floor, she could hear somebody tapping on a door and saying something. But there wasn’t anybody in the hallway. She went along and discovered that the sound was coming from the apricot room, which was assigned to Avalon.
    “Avalon?“ she said to the closed door.
    “Thank God! Get me out of here. The doorknob came off in my hand.“
    Jane looked down and sure enough, there was just a hole where the post of the old-fashioned doorknob should have been. Someone had removed the outer knob so that the inner knob simply pulled out when Avalon tried to open the door. Jane fetched Edgar, who instructed her to reinsert the post so he could turn it with pliers from the outside. But by the time this was completed, they discovered that Pooky’s and Beth’s doors had also been rigged and they had to be rescued.
    It was a cranky flock of Ewe Lambs that finally started drifting down to the aroma of coffee and , bacon. “This is a nightmare, Jane,“ Shelley said from where she hunched in the living room pretending to watch the morning news. “Edgar told me about last night and the clocks. I’m sorry you were stuck with that.“
    “It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. Did Paul call?“
    “He did. And was reassured, but I couldn’t get back to sleep. And there are still days of this ahead before it’s over!“
    “Yes, but look at it this way: one whole day of it is behind you. And I found all the missing doorknobs in the flour canister. So that problem’s taken care of.“
    “I hate chirpy people,“ Shelley said.
    “Oh? I thought you’d prefer chirping to baa-ing,“ Jane said, making a dreadful sheep noise. She went back to the kitchen smiling. This was a rare treat, seeing Shelley, at her wit’s end. Shelley never lost control of herself or a situation and here she was more tired and rattled than Jane herself.
    Jane helped Edgar fix English muffins that were toasted with a rich cheddar cheese topping, shirred eggs with mushrooms and minced basil from a pot on the windowsill, and an arrangement of kiwi and strawberry slices. At least, she tried to help him. Mainly she got in his way, oohing and aahing and taking mental note of the