The King's Blood

it. The world looked almost beautiful at this distance. The Kingspire. The walls of the city. The clouds scudding quickly overhead, caught in some unthinkably high wind that she herself could not feel.
    She considered how little it would take to step over the edge. Not that she intended to. Self-slaughter was too easy, in its way. But it did have its appeal. She’d never been religious, but neither had she refused the priestly stories of life and justice on the farther side of death. Perhaps Dawson was there waiting for her.
    But not yet. Vicarian’s position wasn’t assured, even now. And Barriath… poor Barriath, turned out of the house by his own brother. He needed her still. And Jorey would. Even Sabiha might. And how terrible would it be for the girl to have sent her husband’s mother out, only to have her leap off a bridge. The poor thing would never recover.
    No. Another day, she would. Later, when all her children were taken care of and no one would feel responsible for a decision that was utterly her own. Then she could come, dressed perhaps in bridal array, and take one last brief dance with Dawson. She was weeping now. She didn’t know how long she had been. Days. Weeks. All her life, it seemed. All those years of content had been an illusion. A thin line that she had walked over an abyss. Without a home to go to, without a friend to rely on, she was reduced to the aspect of a madwoman wailing on the bridge, and she found the role fit well enough.
    “My lady,” a man’s voice said, like warm flannel on a cold night. “No.”
    She turned, surprised. Some part of her that still cared about such things reached to straighten her hair and tug her dress into its best drape. The rest of her, the vast majority, collapsed in a hilarity of relief and embarrassment and an amused kind of dread that was much more pleasant than the sincere one she’d been inhabiting.
    “Coe,” she said, laughing and crying. “Oh, not this too.”
    He put a hand on her shoulder. His expression was so sincere. So open and concerned and young.
    “This isn’t the way, my lady. Come with me.”
    “I wasn’t going to jump. I wasn’t. I mean not now, not with so much to do. There’s the boys, you see. And my daughter, my new one, you won’t have met her. She’s a dear child, but troubled. Troubled. And to go now, to leave now with everything in such a state.” She had trouble with the words because the sobbing was so hard now that there was very little room for them. “I couldn’t leave it all like this, so broken and so empty. Oh God. What have we done? How? How did I come to this?”
    Somewhere in the middle of it all, he’d lifted her up, taken her in his arms like she was a child.
    “You can’t do this,” she said. “I don’t love you. I don’t know you. I can’t ever be what you want me to be. I’m married. I mean…”
    “You don’t have to speak, my lady.”
    “I’m poisoned,” she said. “Everyone I know is tainted by me. My sons. Even my sons. They’ll look at you and they’ll see me. And if they see me, they’ll see him, and they’ll do to you what they did to him. I can’t stop it. I can’t even slow it down.”
    “I’m no one, my lady. I have nothing to lose.”
    “And I’m getting your shirt all wet. This isn’t wise. You should go. You should go.”
    “I won’t,” he said.
    She was silent for a long time. His arms weren’t even trembling. She felt he could carry her forever if he chose to. He smelled like dogs and trees and young man. She laid her head against his shoulder and heaved a sigh. When she spoke again, the hysteria was gone.
    “I’m not some fucking little girl who needs rescuing ,” she said.
    “No, my lady,” he said, but she could hear the amusement in his voice. She sniffed. Her nose was running. The streets around them were close and dark. Three men couldn’t walk abreast through them. The poorest quarters of Camnipol closed around her like a blanket. Vincen Coe carried her through the shadows and the light.
    “Shit,” she said, and clung to him.
    T
    he rooming house was terrible. It stank of old cabbage, and the walls were stained green and black in drips that had dried solid years before. There was a wardrobe with a missing door and nothing inside, and the dirty little window no wider than her hand let in only enough light to condemn the surroundings. The bed was small and stained, but it had a mattress. He put her down on it, and she curled up. It